Rasna Phenomenon

Not visiting a relative that stays in the same city as you is definitely a bad thing. Let me tell you why.

For starters, there's this phenomenon that occurs almost all the time when you visit them after a long time. Its called the Rasna Phenomenon and it fucking pisses me off.

First of all, I don't like visiting family. I mean its all good and all, but when you don't have time to run to the shop to pick up new jeans, how in this world would you expect me to find time to visit family. Anyways, I don't intend to either cause there's not much you can do once you go there.

Almost always, the minute you enter a relatives house, they'll serve you Rasna or any orange/lime flavored drink. Even before you sit down. So then, you take your glass and sit down on one of the vacant chairs and begin to sip on your drink, casually going about the formalities. While sipping your rasna, you tend to ask stupid questions and pretend to be interested in what they have to say back to you, all the while thinking about how quickly you can get out of there.

Being fake is just not my thing. I cant take those stupid questions that don't mean anything and that are asked just cause you end up being in the same room as them. Don't really know if any of this makes any sense, but that Rasna thing has got to die. We Indians need to find something better to do other than eat and drink when we visit our relatives.

The next time my folks ask me to join them, I am just going to pretend I am sick or something.. Bah!!

Oh! Those bastards

To start things off, I am not bothered about my spellings - just so that EVERYONE knows.

Anyways, I've been having this problem at work off late. There's this new guy who's joined our office to help us with a few regional projects that we're doing cause we don't really know the language and that fucker pisses me off. Terribly, I must add.

You know what he does. Let me tell you. I'll be sitting and sending out some mails at my comp cause we get quite a few requests for quotes and estimates everyday and I'll be working on that every morning. Now he conveniently enters office at around 11:00 in the morning and without a care in the world, fixes a cup of tea for himself (which is OC btw). Once he's got his cup of tea with him, he casually comes to the room that I sit in and starts sipping his tea.

That sounds ok right? But its WRONG.

The bastard has this annoying habit of making that "sirrrrrpppp" noise when he sips his fucking tea. And with all the quiet going around in the office, I hear it loud and clear. I don't want to tell him to embarrass him or anything, but he should realize no? I mean what the fuck ya, he sounds like a fucking camel. Bloody retard. One of these days, I am going to punch is lights out if he continues doing the same shit. He wont know what hit him. Once he figures out what hit him, he'll keep wondering why and he'll just probably go and fix himself another cup of tea..

Ayoo karma!!

Give me twenty minutes..

Oh, hi.
Well, what if i dont have 20 minutes?

I was just waiting to get pissed off again to start blogging and boy, did that bastard at the hospital piss me off or what.

So anyways, here's what happened.
Last sunday, my sister in law kinda had a bad accident at home. She managed to chop the top portion of her finger off while doing some work in the kitchen and we had to rush her to the hospital. My brother and my mom took her to the hospital while i stayed back looking for the chopped off part.

Now figure this out. I manage to find the part somewhere behind a few utensils and I quickly put it in a packet of ice and rushed it to the hospital. I get there a good 20 minutes after my sister in law and my mom and bro get there and they are still sitting there waiting...

God knows for what, but they are waiting. They've bandaged her hand, but thats about it. Everyone seems to be waiting.

So i take the packet with the chopped finger to the guy at the Emergency Counter and tell him that I have the chopped off piece in a packet and that maybe he should take it and store it in the freezer, just so that they can probably salvage some part of it and graft it back on. He tells me to hold on to it and to give him 20 minutes cause he was making a phone call.

20 fucking minutes?
Is he out of his fucking mind?
I mean what the fuck does he want me to do? Pray that the chopped off piece will remain hygenic in a plastic cover filled with ice from home? Cant he take it, clean it all up and keep it ready for the plastic surgeon (who by the way was not at the hospital and was on his way)? Cant he say anything other than "give me 20 minutes"?

God i hate them hospitals. Although I do know for a fact that they are the only place we can turn to when something goes wrong with us, i just fucking hate them. How can they make you wait at an emergency ward? How how how? How can they ask you to fill up forms? Sign consent letters? Talk to you? Make you wait?
Are they fucking insensitive? I am sure they have policy and crap, but who really fucking cares. Its their job to take care of you and they better do it right. Even I can have everyone who needs emergency care come to my place and have them seated in the hall and i'll even serve tea. Why the fuck do they goto go to the hosp to do that? Fucking turds!

Just so that you know, thanks to the bastards at the emergency counter, just the nail bed could be salvaged and my sister in law is ¼ finger short now! And just so that you know, since they couldnt adminster any sort of assistance, someone else died of a heart attack right next to my sister in law. Ajoo, anger .. anger .. anger..

Life is like a friggin lemon!

Now although I'd have prefered a pissed off entry, i'll buy this one. Its worth a few reads. Moreover, adds color to my blog. Thanks dude for taking the time. Appreciate it.


Guest Entry by BLAH BLAH

ELMO - MY PET LEMON
I have a pet lemon. I picked him out from a whole bunch of lemons at a book fair recently. They were giving away one lemon with every book bought. I was just idly playing with the lemons in the bag, when I saw this quiet little lemon standing apart from the others. He looked like
he wanted to join in, but couldn't really muster up the courage to ask. My heart went out to this little green fellow; I'd been a kuccha nimboo myself when I was growing up. On the spot, I decided that this was the lemon for me. I quietly picked him out of the bag, and put him
into my pocket. It was the start of one of my most fulfilling and enlightening relationships.

It's not easy to raise a lemon alone, you know. I rushed into it impulsively, not really knowing the sort of responsibility involved with such a task. There are many things you learn only the hard way. For example, my lemon takes it really hard if anyone calls him a lime. He has an inferiority complex about limes. What's more, my brother keeps telling him that I got him by mistake, that I was actually hoping for a lime instead. I've assured and reassured him a hundred
times that this isn't true, but then, there's only so much you can say to salvage a hurt ego. You know how lemons can be once they believe something strongly!

But it's not all bad. There are times when I'm feeling really low, and my lovely lemon manages to cheer me up. We play a little game. I start to tell him all about where lemonade comes from, and then I take him into the kitchen and show him the lemon squeezer and explain in detail
how it works. He then pretends to be totally speechless with fear. Sometimes for variety I put him into the mixer and threaten, jokingly of course, to shred him to pieces. Some days, I just shout out "Juice!" and we share a laugh. I love my lemon. I hope he doesn't die of lemonAIDS.

It is DONE

Oh well, off late, I havent really been inspired to write, probably cause not many things have been pissing me off lately. Or maybe its just work that is getting to me. But I am not complaining. I am having a ball.

Anyways, as of today, I've decided I am taking a break. A break from all this blogging bits. For sometime atleast. In the past few weeks/months, I know for a fact that i've made quite a few friends and equal number of enemies. The friends I can understand. Ther eare obviously plenty of folk around the world that are pissed off about the same things like me and relate to most of the things I say. The enemies bit I dont get. Dont see why someone would hate me and want to pull a scrap with me. Anyways, it doesnt bother me. Cyberspace has never really intimidated me, really.
For the record though, it'd be nice to know who I am supposed to meet at Koshy's. I can't just go around kissing every other guys/girls ass. By the time I got to the actual guy, the taste in my mouth would only numb the overwhelming experience.

Like I said though, dont matter to me.
So cheers to you all and myself and do have a blast.

But as a sign off, for a friend, here are my

5 greatest joys:

The smell of mud when it rains
The open road
Watching puppies playing
Movies
Christmas Carols

(So i've been untagged now and as a piss off, each and everyone of you is tagged now)

Peace, love and tranquility y'all
Wesside!

----
I miss the days of 0 and 2 comments. Now I blog for the world.

Blogus Anonymous

Read this comment on my blog lately?

Anonymous said...

fucking sad bastard...effects of catcher in the rye havent worn off yet? doctor pissed. quit the fucked up attempt at being holden. you suck at that apart from a whole host of shit including your fucked up "edits"

September 22, 2005 3:05 PM

What, you all might ask am i doing giving something so small so much importance. Well nothing really. I just find it odd though that someone who hates me so much, doesnt have the balls to step up to me and tell me just that.

Anyways, since that comment pissed me off, why not blog about it nah? First off, I dont read books. So, I dont really get the Catcher in the Rye cross reference. Secondly, I find book reading very boring. Holden, as I just found out is the narrator of the book. Who the fuck cares really? I dont even know why I bothered googling.

My edits must sure suck. Thats why they are on TV I guess. Much of what's on TV is crap anyways.

None the less dude, you have your opinions, but like they say, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one!
You are my asshole.. :)

Nitwit Marty!

I've been awfully happy lately. Nothing's pissed me off for over a day. Infact, nothing pissed me off today as well. I went to work, got back early, spoke to my folks, played with the new pups at home, ate dinner and then came up to the living room to watch some television while eating food and then it HAPPENED.

With the lack of entertainment on television these days, I've stopped eating dinner at home. Before it used to be so much fun. Lots of things to watch while eating dinner on Star World and all. Now only faggy serials that make absolutely no sense. Not that The Practice wasnt good or anything, but I am talking about the general situation of the content on television. Only Monday nights are ok ok.. All the other days just suck. Even Apprentice is over now. Bahh.. I cant wait for the Amazing Race though. Anyways, chuck all that. I'll diss the shows on tv some other day. For today though, there was something even worse.

So there I was in the living room and The Practice gets over and a show called Rockstar INXS started playing. Now, I goto be honest. Never really liked their music. Wasnt a fan at all. But I thought hell, its a show on rock music. How could that go wrong nah? So I tuned in and got comfy. The first guy to sing did a decent job covering "Bohemian Rhapsody" I thought. Right after he was done, I went down, left my plate, washed my hands and came back running upstairs to watch the show and boy was I in for a suprise or what..

Some dude called Marty Casey who looks like a total faggot is fucking up one of my most fav songs of all time. He's doing his own version of Wish You Were Here and it sucks. I mean what the fuck dude, if your going to fucking cover the song, atleast do it right. Dont fucking change it cause you want to. Dont cover it at all. Fucking mother fucking twit. He has the nerve to give full attitude while singing the song and all and he kept giving those basketball looks to the audience. Fuck, I hate it when people do that. I cant explain what the basketball look is if you guys dont play basketball. Its basically a look you give to the other players in your team and the other team when you get a basket and feel all super cool and all cause you know everyone is looking at you.. Oh does that piss me off or what..


Anyways, I have nothing more to say.. I just hate the mother fucker. He spoilt it for me :(

I am going to sing a line for myself from the song like the way its meant to be sung. Like the way I sang it for non-comp acoustic music in my first year of college.

"How I wish, how I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year
Running over the same old grounds
What have we found
The same old fears
Wish you were here"

Bahhhh!!!

I got dengued today!

If you guys are wondering what the topic title means, fret not. I basically intend to tell all my ardent fans that I got fucked today!

How you may ask? Well, let me take the fucking time to explain.

I went to work today. I know, what a crappy life I must be leading that I need to go to work on a Sunday. But work is work dude. When you enjoy it as much as I do, you wont complain. Anyways, i finished doing what I was supposed to in about 30 minutes and I get a message from a friend. I thought to myself, let me just message him while I am riding the bike. I mean come on, what the fuck could happen right? I've done this a million times, ride the bike and message someone, even talk on the phone by sticking the phone inside my helmet. So, what the fuck, I could pull this off too. So I started my bike, took off from work and started typing the message with my left hand while accelerating with the right. I didnt crash up or anything. I was just super excited about the message that I didnt notice a stupid fucking cop just waiting at the end of the road to catch me.

And mind you, he did.

He pulled me over to the side and cracked the usual kannada movie joke - "eyyy, jogi, yell hogtha iddiya kano?" (btw, just so that you people from north india and around the world know, Jogi is a new kannada movie where the protagonist has long locks, just like mine and I've got this fucking Jogi thing from countless number of people before the cop, street children, auto drivers, the lot. First it was Uppi, now its fucking Jogi. I am going to cut my fucking hair. You just wait..)

Anyways, so there I was, caught red handed. I was guilty of riding the bike and using the phone at the same time, which mind you, is an offence. So he asked me to pull my bike over and I did. Then he started cracking jokes with me. He then casually checked my papers and to my fucking suprise, both my emission test certificate and my insurance had fucking expired. I mean what crap. Just 2 minutes before handing out the papers to him, I was happily riding my bike with super confidence and being super thrilled and all and then out of the blue this guy catches me and fucks up my sunday. I was even under the impression that my bike papers were up to date, but they obviously werent. The emission test expired in March 2005 and the Oriental Insurance paper was done with way back in Feb itself.

So now I had 3 offenses against my record. I was guilty of riding my bike and using the mobile phone at the same time and riding the bike with expired papers.

So basically, I was fucked.

He then goes on to tell me that I am supposed to pay him 1200 bucks. I was like "what the fuck". I literally said that btw. He said, using abusive language to a police officer is another offense so you better chill out (all in kannada btw). Anyways, let me give you the break down.

300 bucks for riding the bike and using the cell phone at the same time
500 bucks for expired insurance papers
200 bucks for expired emission test
100 bucks for riding a bike with mirrors
100 bucks for riding a bike with no front ferring

Now, I totally get the first three but what the fuck. If i choose not to have mirrors on my bike, its my fucking choise. If I die, I die. Who the fuck is he to command that I have mirrors. Moreover, if I dont want to have a front ferring on my fucking bike, its my fucking choice again. I like my bike without a ferring and I am going to keep it that way.

Obviously, I couldnt tell him all that. So I just smiled and gave him the "Come on saaar, ganesha habba" bit. He didnt seem to want to budge. He was stern. Anyways, after much pleading and requesting, he gave in and I got out of there after 30 minutes by paying him some 50 bucks and promising to come back with another 100.

In his fucking dreams am I going to go back with that 100. Actually I did go back. But his boss had turned up and he just sent me away.

Anyways, the whole experience today was such a piss off. Spoilt my whole day plan. I so wanted to go to church and sing hymns today. Didnt happen :(

Bastard cops..

Damm Covers!

I dont know who invented these fucking covers and I dont get why in this world they are so hard to open. Not all the time, but at times atleast. I mean, all these fucking covers that are used to vaccum seal something are always difficult to open. Some just open easily. Like you hold it near the crease with both hands and just burst it open, but others can be a bitch.

Especially, those small candy wrappers. They can be such a piss off. First of all, you try to do it the conventional burst open technique.

You fail.

Then you bite into the wrapper and tear a little piece off. That pisses you off a little cause your tooth hurts and it gives you a vague feeling when you bite, atleast for 10 minutes.

Anyways, then you try and hold the small opening that you've created with two or more fingers and try tearing open the wrapper and somehow at the end of it all, you know that you've lost and the fucking wrapper has won and that the candy won't taste as good as it would have but for all those problems opening the fucking wrapper in the first place.

I vouch to all the companies who are into the food/snacks industry to pack all their products in like easy to open zip-slide pouches. But then again, I'd miss popping the Mentos packets. So everyone other than the Mentos folk, get better wrappers. The ones you guys have right now piss me off.

CDK's

cdk (dūd, dyūd)
n.

1. Informal. A fucking wannabe
2. Slang.
   1. A man; a fellow.
   2. dudes Persons of either sex who are also wannabes
      

acronym. Cool Dude Karadi, as in bear. Some stupid name that my friend and I came up with sometime back, like say in 1999 or something.

I hate fucking wannabes. They piss me off.
Ever seen some guys on the road and they just dont look right? Ever seen some guys pass by in a car and you know for a fact that they are all prentending to be cool, but actually aren't? Ever seen dudes just hanging around on the by-lanes outside girl colleges wearing those really BIG glasses, a formal shirt (usually white) with jeans and some stupid leather shoes and you just laugh to yourself?

Oh man, they can be such a piss off. They dont have to do anything, interact with me or anything. Them just being around pisses me off. Another thing this breed of dudes have started to do is grow their hair long. I mean what fucking cunts. Couldnt they just let me have my ONE THING? Now, being one of the few people to have long hair in 2001, I somehow felt long hair looked good on me. Now that i see every mother fucker with long hair, it fucking pisses me off. First of all cause they cant carry it off. And secondly, cause I am scared I look like them. I am even contemplating a hair cut!! :(

Anyways, thanks to these stupid fucking dudes, now its just uncool to do so many things. Like,
1. Grow your hair long
2. Take your helmet off and sing
3. Ride on one of the by-lanes of some girls college even if you HAVE to pass it to reach wherever your headed to

Someone please shoot them all down!!
Please..

Garbage Trucks

I am sure only Bangaloreans will be able to relate to this post, if anyone of you should be reading this.

Its been quite sometime since something has pissed me off. More than 3 days or so. Actually, things have pissed me off over the last three days, but not to the extent that i'd take time off to blog about them.

But today, I was treated to some good old school Bangalore flavour.

Bangalore seems to be the only city that has garbage trucks. Atleast the types that have open trucks covered with blue tarpolin sheets and riding all over the fucking city collecting garbage. I mean, how fucking stupid. I just dont get these trucks. I dont see a reason why they cant be covered and just loaded by from the back, like it happens everywhere else in the world.

I remember when iwas studying in a mull college near Diary Circle, I had to travel on Hosur Road almost everyday for 3 years. Every morning at 8:00 am, twelve yellow BCC garbage trucks would travel on that road leaving a trail of dirty water that had such a bad stench, you wish you were never born. When i got on that road every morning at 8:45 for instance, there was almost certainly a jam waiting for me. Not only did I have to contend with the fact that I was going to be late for class, I also had to put up with the fucking smell, which was unbearable btw.

I had two options
1. Drop out of college
2. Take another road

I choose neither for reasons best known to me and I was fucking screwed man. I hated it. Today on the way to work, I was reminded of those days. When you see a fucking trail of water and the air suddenly begins to smell like rotten eggs mixed with hing, its indicative enough for you to choose another road, no matter how late you arrive at your destination. Trust me. Its only for the better.

And to make matter worse, i didnt take another road cause I was already late. Litte further ahead on the same road near BTM Layout, the fucking truck is in front of me. I bundled the courage to overtake him, just then it happened. Some garbage came flying at me from the freaking truck. Luckily it left no stains or smells and just fell off. But I felt disgusted.

I rushed to work, washed myself up and only then begun the day.

I hate these fucking bastard BCC Garbage Trucks. They fucking piss me off. Alice, another thing for you to write to Mr. Singh about. And Ms. Peris, for once, I think the city sucks too.

The Small Things in Life

OMG, you guys are not going to believe me, but you have no idea how much grief that small little metal piece gave me today.

I was born a biker. Always loved the bike over the car. Never intended to own a car and never will either. Having said that, its obvious that if anything pisses me off about biking, its goto be those god damm fucking punctures (if thats how its spelt)

Everytime I decide to get to work on time to please my boss, its almost certain that I'll have a puncture in my tire. Dont ask me why, but its always like that. I get ready to go to work and rush to the garage, take my bike off the center stand and suddenly feel no air in the back tire and look down only to notice that the fucking tube is punctured.

Seriously, why the fuck cant they invent some tires that'll help get rid of this crap. I cant take it anymore. I was delayed by more than an hour thanks to the fucking puncture. This is the 3rd puncture in this month alone and all the 3 punctures have been caused by fucking metal objects like the metal piece you guys see in the image. Nails and other sharp objects contribute at other times to my misery.

I dont understand why in this world someone would just throw nails on the road. What kind of sadistic pleasures would one derive from causing me misery? I dont get it. I've done no wrong to nobody. I've not called anyone names. Sure, I've sung many a song loudly on the bike with actions, but that's no harm done to anyone. Then why the fuck do they goto do this to me..

I actually saved that fucking small little piece to click a photograph and put it up here. It was so small that the puncture shop guy even told me that he'll charge me just 2 bucks instead of the regular 15 cause of the size of the fucking piece that caused the puncture. And then he just laughed.

Once you figure out you have a puncture, your basically screwed. First you goto push your bike to the puncture shop. You cant ride it there cause then you'd risk causing more damage to the neck of the tube thus in turn getting you to spend 120 bucks for a new tube. So you push the bike, in the hot morning sun and you get all sweaty and stuff although you've taken a bath just some 20 mins ago. Then you've goto stand next to your bike and help the puncture dude dismantle you tire by bending the bike towards one side so its easier for him to pull the back wheel off the axle. Then, when he's fixing the tube, you've goto stand there next to him and grumble about the time and how you want him to speed things up although you know for a fact that it'd take that much time either ways for him to fix it. Then he gets pissed off. He does a shabby job. Just pretends like he's looking for a nail in the tube and doesnt really remove it. Just removes a part of it so that you'll have another puncture later that day and the saga continues..

What a piss off I tell ya .. what a fucking piss off.
I hate punctures. I need steel radials for my bike! MRF are you fuckers listening?

The Awkward Silence

Oh, well, just when I thought I wouldnt really be pissed off about anything today, this had to happen.

Just so that everyone knows now and there are no more awkward silences, my girlfriend and I kinda fell out of our relationship sometime back. Cant really call her MY girlfriend right now cause she's with someone else, but trust me, thats not the pissing off part. I am happy for her and am sure glad she's happy doing what she is doing in life.

Anyways, getting back to the post. My folks and I share a very open relationship. I mean, they have no qualms about me seeing someone and they are like one of the first few people to know when I do start seeing anyone. I dont really have to tell them. They kinda already figure it out and stuff.

One thing though, when you break up with someone, for some odd reason, you dont find the courage to go and tell you parents about it. No matter how open they are about the issue. Call me a coward or whatever, I dont really mind it. But honestly, I just find it odd. I can tell all my friends about it, but I cant tell my parents. Its just a crappy feeling...

So I get back home today from work and I was sitting down in the hall and just talking to my mom who was all enthu about watching some of my edits on TV and feeling proud and all. Just then, she turns towards me and says "So, where's XYZ? Haven't seen her in a while and she doesnt even call or come home anymore". An awkward silence follows... I ponder over the option of lying to her, like I have done in the past just, but I decided to otherwise today and to put an end to this..

I dont blame my mom. I blame myself. But these frigging awkward situations piss me off. Moreso the silence. I finally found it in my heart to tell her today though. I am sure she'll tell my dad and it'll all be cool and no one will bring it up anymore, but thats not the point. These awkward situations are such a piss off .. Fuck, I cant even put it to words to remember about this someday down the line...
This sucks..

Mud Splashes

Ok not really. Except maybe if I was in a mud pool reliving my fantasies. But, shit crap man. I love the rains alright. They make me happy. Except for 2 things.
1. Getting wet in the rain while riding back home on the bike wearing the only set of nice formal clothes that I own
2. The mud splashes from all the cars/bikes/trucks/busses/bullock-carts/etc.

Now dont get me wrong, I can make do with getting wet in the rain wearing formals, except that I dont wear a banyan (oh, I love that word) and everyone will get to see my sexy body, but mud from the revolutions of a car tyre, I cant handle.

It rained like mad last night and I worked all night at the office cause I was doing an edit that is supposed to be aired tomorrow on ESPN. Anyways, after working all night and heading back home in the morning, the last thing I need all over my face is MUD. I mean what the fuck. These vehicle owners in and around Bangalore dont believe in mud flaps. Because of all the slush collected in their fucking tyres, the bikers on the road are the ones that are hit the worst. I ended up riding behind this Tata Indica and this bugger, ironically ends up being a cabbie for a call center. He, without knowledge that he has just exited from a mud road that got totally wet because of yesterday's rains ends up taking off at this signal and his tyres kept squirting out mud right into my face. Ironically enough, I had my helmet off and got a good taste of good ol` bangalore mud.

Fucking stupid fucking cabbie pissed me off today. The next time this happens, considering that it will happen cause of all the rain, I am going to throw my helmet at him, come what may..

Christian Retreats

Oh man, I am Catholic alright, Roman Catholic at that, but fucking shit, I dont get these fucking christian retreats. They bloody piss me off and when I have aunties and uncles talking about how these fucking miracle works work their charms and apparently HEAL people, it fucking pisses me off even more.

Not to be blasphemous or anything, but I dont like those guys on TV. Especially these Tamil guys who claim to have the hand of God and to have the power to frigging heal the world. Then why the fuck are they on TV? Why arent they out there doing shit for the people, lets say in Somalia for instance, where they are really fucking needed?

Why the fuck do they goto stand on a stage, hold their hand out and knock someone on the head hard enough to make that person go crashing down to the floor only to have him wake up much later after lying unconcious for a while because of the hard knock on their head and cause of the pain from crashing down to the floor and temporarily feeling weightlessness and happy soon after.

I just dont get it I tell you. And when they try to spread the good word, that pisses me off even more. Thank you, but I dont want to be a part of this crap! You can take your salad elsewhere..

Death Metal

With due respect to all the original metal bands, I think covering Death bands and other really hard metal bands totally sucks. I mean, seriously man, come on. I am sure each and every one of of you reading this blog has been to one Autumn Muse or a NLS fest or something and quite honestly, although you might be a metal fan, I am pretty darn sure that you guys agree with me when I say ALMOST ALL THE BANDS THAT COVER A DEATH METAL BAND SUCKS!!

Actually hold on a minute there. It doesnt really matter if you guys agree with me or not, I still think they suck. They go on stage and make noise. First off, they cant pull off the riffs. Secondly, the drummer cant keep time. Then why the fuck attempt it. Just cause I am in love with Dream Theater, Rush and the likes wont make me pick up the frigging guitar and go on stage and do a Petrucci solo right?

I dont get our local bands from Bangalore. Almost 90% of them play covers. Not that I hate covers or anything, but if then end up covering death metal and doing a crappy job out of it, whats the point in covering the music in the first place? They'd rather not play. Either that, or they can probably cover some easier music to play, like we did.

To make matter worse, I hate death metal as a genre of music. Its just not pleasing and doesnt impress me technically either.

Anyways, I think semi pro bands or whatever-the-fuck-they-are-called-bands should just stop playing on stage and saving the audience the trouble. I skipped going to this year's Freedom Jam cause I knew there'd be more than 45 bands out of the shortlisted 50 covering death metal. Thanks a bunch for spoiling my experience of it all. Bastards..

Maa, where's the Spam?

spam (spăm)
n.

Unsolicited e-mail, often of a commercial nature, sent indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups; junk e-mail.

tr.v., spammed, spam·ming, spams.

1. To send unsolicited e-mail to.
2. To send (a message) indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups.

meaning derived from www.answers.com

Oh, what the fuck.. I've been had!
There are some fucking strange odd programs, otherwise reffered to as BOTS that have invaded my frigging blog. I just realized that I was taken for a ride when one of these bots posted on my frigging blog about my impeccable command over the english language and crap like that and I replied even! hahaha!

Anyways, these bots are now pissing me off. They are getting on my nerves and thats why I've enabled WORD VERIFICATION for the comments section. Else, they'll go on spamming and I cant do shit. Some might suggest disabling the anon comments option. But I cant do that. Most of my friends who visit this place arent really members and like to comment. Thus, the only other option, word verification.

Now, as a warning, dont fall prey like me. These bots are nothing but scripts and are out to get you. Down with the fucking bots.. down down down

Digging - In general

I know I've blogged about this earlier and I know I'd also commented on another person's blog that I wouldnt post this cause his anthem rendition made me happy again, but I cant resist.

I was on my way back home from work today and I got stuck at the signal near the Ring Road (Koramangala End). I switched off my bike, took off my helmet and decided to wait..
As i began to look around, I saw this one guy on the other side of the road and he was carrying a backpack and was dressed like a guy who was definately educated and he looked sane enough to know his place in this world. Say about 10 seconds after I spotted him, he began digging his nose, quite furiously even.

Now dont mind me, atleast know that you are surrounded by another 6 people who are looking at you digging your nose. Doesnt that bother you? I mean, yuckkk!!

Then the signal turned green and I passed him and I actually saw him still frantically busy at his nose picking skills. Then I just thought to myself. Imagine if that guy was doing what he was doing early in the morning and then headed to my office. I'd have to shake hands with that guy and he'd have bogger all over his fingers. He'd probably have little residue from all those bogger balls that he'd have made and thrown away onto the street after picking his nose for such a long time and I'd have to shake hands with him.... NooooOoOooooO!!!!

Thankfully though, he doesnt look like the kind of guy who'd visit an office like ours. But then again, no one said he was alone! I am sure there are others and the thought of not knowing if the guys you are shaking hands with have been digging their nose or not and going ahead and shaking hands with them scares me.

Its just disgusting you know.
I've decided to go the Japanese/Chinese/whatever the fuck Way .. Mushi mushi..

Cloved Laddus!

Now I am a typical South Indian fella with South Indian habits and tastes. But when it comes to laddu's and pani puri, I absolutely love the way the northies prepare the dishes.

For one, give me any boondhi laddu from any northie sweet shop and I'll finish it within 8 seconds flat. But then there are these yucky south indian laddu's that are often mistaken for their northern counterparts.

Laddu's are from north india and are meant to be from there. Why, you ask? Well, cause we south indians cant make laddu's for nuts. Like for instance, a north indian laddu is just a shit load of boondhi and ghee with a dash of cashew nuts and thats about it. A south indian laddu on the other hand has shit loads of boondhi, DALDA and cloves. I mean what the fuck are cloves doing in a laddu. Its like some sadistic bastard who wanted to spoil the taste of them laddu's suddenly thought of putting it there and that ritual has caught on until this day.

I cant stand them cloves in my laddus. They piss me off. Its like I put the whole laddu in my mouth and then bite into a clove and hate the taste cause its yuck and I have to try and seperate it from the rest of the laddu inside my mouth with my tongue and then remove it out with my fingers and throw it away. Instead, why the fuck cant they all just let them north indians make the laddus just the way I love them?

But no.. the sadistic bastard hates me!!

All the crap!

Oh man .. All the crap that goes into our papers just pisses me off.
I am sorry I havent written to myself in a long time, its just that I have been shit busy with work. Have 3 more ads to be done with by the end of the month and cant seem to find the time at all to work on all of them.

Having said that, I am one of the buggers who needs to read the paper every morning. I have noticed the changes in content that our newspapers are going every day. Times of India started it all and now, they are a fucking SOFT PORN daily. I mean, being a guy and stuff and having them publish all those images in the paper should make me happy. But it doesnt.

I aint no gay or anything and I aint attracted to men and want them to publish images of guys instead, but man, geez, there are small kids reading the fucking papers. I am not talking about really small kids. I am talking about the 13-14 year old's who are just about figuring out that there is more to life than "mar kothi" and "lagori" and I am sure the last thing they need to be reading about at their testostorone filled age is "how to satisfy your man/woman over the weekend".

Seriously, come on!! There is Cosmopolitan for all that crap. I say, its all done in bad taste and it aint good. If any of you have seen any of the images published in the god damm Bangalore Times, you'll know excatly what I am talking about. And the print.. Good Lord, the crap they try and educate you with. It gets worse over Saturday and Sunday too..

Someone needs to shoot down the people doing this to our morning papers. Then again, come to think of it, I could subscribe to "The Economic Times"..