I NO HEART BUFFALO

I really lough farm animals I say. I mean. Not in a "pink" kind of way, but generally. I've always loved going to our ancestral home in Mangalore. Its fun.

But I've never really liked the buffalos though. Reasons:
1. They are always of just one color. Not like them cows. - no spots = no lough
2. They have absolutely no self defense. Sure, they are strong and all and can take down a lion and all that crap, but why would God be so mean and curve its horns inward? I mean what the fuck no?
3. It generally looks kinda stupid.

Ok, I lied. I don't really hate them buffaloes. Never really thought about them that much though. Anyways, so back to my post. So there I was on this road. Believe it or not, there was this buffalo standing in the middle of a fucking traffic signal. I mean, where else in this world could this happen. The buffalo was waiting, just like any one of us for the lights to turn green so we could carry on to our ultimate destinations.

I don't know if its luck or whatever, but I got to stand right next to the buffalo's hind limbs. Its bad standing next to its hind limbs, let me tell you why. First of all, it could poop. Secondly, the smells bad. Anyways, waiting there, I least expected whatever happened next to happen.

I take off my helmet and I was just waiting for the signal to go green when suddenly the buffalo swings its tail man and gives me one chaapa on my face. I mean it didn't hurt and all, but what the fuck. I didn't know what had struck me and before I knew it, two chicks from the auto behind me were giggling. So was the fucking auto driver. I looked right, about 7 people waiting for a bus at the bus stand were also laughing. Ayoo, karma..

Lesson learned. Shoot the buffalo or throw helmet at buffalo at next signal!

Fucking piss off..

BTW, for all your Dr. Pissed fans, my next few posts are going to be the tags that have long been pending. So sorry if I goto disappoint a few of you, but I goto make a few others happee.

Rasna Phenomenon

Not visiting a relative that stays in the same city as you is definitely a bad thing. Let me tell you why.

For starters, there's this phenomenon that occurs almost all the time when you visit them after a long time. Its called the Rasna Phenomenon and it fucking pisses me off.

First of all, I don't like visiting family. I mean its all good and all, but when you don't have time to run to the shop to pick up new jeans, how in this world would you expect me to find time to visit family. Anyways, I don't intend to either cause there's not much you can do once you go there.

Almost always, the minute you enter a relatives house, they'll serve you Rasna or any orange/lime flavored drink. Even before you sit down. So then, you take your glass and sit down on one of the vacant chairs and begin to sip on your drink, casually going about the formalities. While sipping your rasna, you tend to ask stupid questions and pretend to be interested in what they have to say back to you, all the while thinking about how quickly you can get out of there.

Being fake is just not my thing. I cant take those stupid questions that don't mean anything and that are asked just cause you end up being in the same room as them. Don't really know if any of this makes any sense, but that Rasna thing has got to die. We Indians need to find something better to do other than eat and drink when we visit our relatives.

The next time my folks ask me to join them, I am just going to pretend I am sick or something.. Bah!!

Oh! Those bastards

To start things off, I am not bothered about my spellings - just so that EVERYONE knows.

Anyways, I've been having this problem at work off late. There's this new guy who's joined our office to help us with a few regional projects that we're doing cause we don't really know the language and that fucker pisses me off. Terribly, I must add.

You know what he does. Let me tell you. I'll be sitting and sending out some mails at my comp cause we get quite a few requests for quotes and estimates everyday and I'll be working on that every morning. Now he conveniently enters office at around 11:00 in the morning and without a care in the world, fixes a cup of tea for himself (which is OC btw). Once he's got his cup of tea with him, he casually comes to the room that I sit in and starts sipping his tea.

That sounds ok right? But its WRONG.

The bastard has this annoying habit of making that "sirrrrrpppp" noise when he sips his fucking tea. And with all the quiet going around in the office, I hear it loud and clear. I don't want to tell him to embarrass him or anything, but he should realize no? I mean what the fuck ya, he sounds like a fucking camel. Bloody retard. One of these days, I am going to punch is lights out if he continues doing the same shit. He wont know what hit him. Once he figures out what hit him, he'll keep wondering why and he'll just probably go and fix himself another cup of tea..

Ayoo karma!!

Give me twenty minutes..

Oh, hi.
Well, what if i dont have 20 minutes?

I was just waiting to get pissed off again to start blogging and boy, did that bastard at the hospital piss me off or what.

So anyways, here's what happened.
Last sunday, my sister in law kinda had a bad accident at home. She managed to chop the top portion of her finger off while doing some work in the kitchen and we had to rush her to the hospital. My brother and my mom took her to the hospital while i stayed back looking for the chopped off part.

Now figure this out. I manage to find the part somewhere behind a few utensils and I quickly put it in a packet of ice and rushed it to the hospital. I get there a good 20 minutes after my sister in law and my mom and bro get there and they are still sitting there waiting...

God knows for what, but they are waiting. They've bandaged her hand, but thats about it. Everyone seems to be waiting.

So i take the packet with the chopped finger to the guy at the Emergency Counter and tell him that I have the chopped off piece in a packet and that maybe he should take it and store it in the freezer, just so that they can probably salvage some part of it and graft it back on. He tells me to hold on to it and to give him 20 minutes cause he was making a phone call.

20 fucking minutes?
Is he out of his fucking mind?
I mean what the fuck does he want me to do? Pray that the chopped off piece will remain hygenic in a plastic cover filled with ice from home? Cant he take it, clean it all up and keep it ready for the plastic surgeon (who by the way was not at the hospital and was on his way)? Cant he say anything other than "give me 20 minutes"?

God i hate them hospitals. Although I do know for a fact that they are the only place we can turn to when something goes wrong with us, i just fucking hate them. How can they make you wait at an emergency ward? How how how? How can they ask you to fill up forms? Sign consent letters? Talk to you? Make you wait?
Are they fucking insensitive? I am sure they have policy and crap, but who really fucking cares. Its their job to take care of you and they better do it right. Even I can have everyone who needs emergency care come to my place and have them seated in the hall and i'll even serve tea. Why the fuck do they goto go to the hosp to do that? Fucking turds!

Just so that you know, thanks to the bastards at the emergency counter, just the nail bed could be salvaged and my sister in law is ¼ finger short now! And just so that you know, since they couldnt adminster any sort of assistance, someone else died of a heart attack right next to my sister in law. Ajoo, anger .. anger .. anger..