Tuesday, September 27, 2005

It is DONE

Oh well, off late, I havent really been inspired to write, probably cause not many things have been pissing me off lately. Or maybe its just work that is getting to me. But I am not complaining. I am having a ball.

Anyways, as of today, I've decided I am taking a break. A break from all this blogging bits. For sometime atleast. In the past few weeks/months, I know for a fact that i've made quite a few friends and equal number of enemies. The friends I can understand. Ther eare obviously plenty of folk around the world that are pissed off about the same things like me and relate to most of the things I say. The enemies bit I dont get. Dont see why someone would hate me and want to pull a scrap with me. Anyways, it doesnt bother me. Cyberspace has never really intimidated me, really.
For the record though, it'd be nice to know who I am supposed to meet at Koshy's. I can't just go around kissing every other guys/girls ass. By the time I got to the actual guy, the taste in my mouth would only numb the overwhelming experience.

Like I said though, dont matter to me.
So cheers to you all and myself and do have a blast.

But as a sign off, for a friend, here are my

5 greatest joys:

The smell of mud when it rains
The open road
Watching puppies playing
Christmas Carols

(So i've been untagged now and as a piss off, each and everyone of you is tagged now)

Peace, love and tranquility y'all

I miss the days of 0 and 2 comments. Now I blog for the world.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Blogus Anonymous

Read this comment on my blog lately?

Anonymous said...

fucking sad bastard...effects of catcher in the rye havent worn off yet? doctor pissed. quit the fucked up attempt at being holden. you suck at that apart from a whole host of shit including your fucked up "edits"

September 22, 2005 3:05 PM

What, you all might ask am i doing giving something so small so much importance. Well nothing really. I just find it odd though that someone who hates me so much, doesnt have the balls to step up to me and tell me just that.

Anyways, since that comment pissed me off, why not blog about it nah? First off, I dont read books. So, I dont really get the Catcher in the Rye cross reference. Secondly, I find book reading very boring. Holden, as I just found out is the narrator of the book. Who the fuck cares really? I dont even know why I bothered googling.

My edits must sure suck. Thats why they are on TV I guess. Much of what's on TV is crap anyways.

None the less dude, you have your opinions, but like they say, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one!
You are my asshole.. :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Nitwit Marty!

I've been awfully happy lately. Nothing's pissed me off for over a day. Infact, nothing pissed me off today as well. I went to work, got back early, spoke to my folks, played with the new pups at home, ate dinner and then came up to the living room to watch some television while eating food and then it HAPPENED.

With the lack of entertainment on television these days, I've stopped eating dinner at home. Before it used to be so much fun. Lots of things to watch while eating dinner on Star World and all. Now only faggy serials that make absolutely no sense. Not that The Practice wasnt good or anything, but I am talking about the general situation of the content on television. Only Monday nights are ok ok.. All the other days just suck. Even Apprentice is over now. Bahh.. I cant wait for the Amazing Race though. Anyways, chuck all that. I'll diss the shows on tv some other day. For today though, there was something even worse.

So there I was in the living room and The Practice gets over and a show called Rockstar INXS started playing. Now, I goto be honest. Never really liked their music. Wasnt a fan at all. But I thought hell, its a show on rock music. How could that go wrong nah? So I tuned in and got comfy. The first guy to sing did a decent job covering "Bohemian Rhapsody" I thought. Right after he was done, I went down, left my plate, washed my hands and came back running upstairs to watch the show and boy was I in for a suprise or what..

Some dude called Marty Casey who looks like a total faggot is fucking up one of my most fav songs of all time. He's doing his own version of Wish You Were Here and it sucks. I mean what the fuck dude, if your going to fucking cover the song, atleast do it right. Dont fucking change it cause you want to. Dont cover it at all. Fucking mother fucking twit. He has the nerve to give full attitude while singing the song and all and he kept giving those basketball looks to the audience. Fuck, I hate it when people do that. I cant explain what the basketball look is if you guys dont play basketball. Its basically a look you give to the other players in your team and the other team when you get a basket and feel all super cool and all cause you know everyone is looking at you.. Oh does that piss me off or what..

Anyways, I have nothing more to say.. I just hate the mother fucker. He spoilt it for me :(

I am going to sing a line for myself from the song like the way its meant to be sung. Like the way I sang it for non-comp acoustic music in my first year of college.

"How I wish, how I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year
Running over the same old grounds
What have we found
The same old fears
Wish you were here"


Sunday, September 18, 2005

I got dengued today!

If you guys are wondering what the topic title means, fret not. I basically intend to tell all my ardent fans that I got fucked today!

How you may ask? Well, let me take the fucking time to explain.

I went to work today. I know, what a crappy life I must be leading that I need to go to work on a Sunday. But work is work dude. When you enjoy it as much as I do, you wont complain. Anyways, i finished doing what I was supposed to in about 30 minutes and I get a message from a friend. I thought to myself, let me just message him while I am riding the bike. I mean come on, what the fuck could happen right? I've done this a million times, ride the bike and message someone, even talk on the phone by sticking the phone inside my helmet. So, what the fuck, I could pull this off too. So I started my bike, took off from work and started typing the message with my left hand while accelerating with the right. I didnt crash up or anything. I was just super excited about the message that I didnt notice a stupid fucking cop just waiting at the end of the road to catch me.

And mind you, he did.

He pulled me over to the side and cracked the usual kannada movie joke - "eyyy, jogi, yell hogtha iddiya kano?" (btw, just so that you people from north india and around the world know, Jogi is a new kannada movie where the protagonist has long locks, just like mine and I've got this fucking Jogi thing from countless number of people before the cop, street children, auto drivers, the lot. First it was Uppi, now its fucking Jogi. I am going to cut my fucking hair. You just wait..)

Anyways, so there I was, caught red handed. I was guilty of riding the bike and using the phone at the same time, which mind you, is an offence. So he asked me to pull my bike over and I did. Then he started cracking jokes with me. He then casually checked my papers and to my fucking suprise, both my emission test certificate and my insurance had fucking expired. I mean what crap. Just 2 minutes before handing out the papers to him, I was happily riding my bike with super confidence and being super thrilled and all and then out of the blue this guy catches me and fucks up my sunday. I was even under the impression that my bike papers were up to date, but they obviously werent. The emission test expired in March 2005 and the Oriental Insurance paper was done with way back in Feb itself.

So now I had 3 offenses against my record. I was guilty of riding my bike and using the mobile phone at the same time and riding the bike with expired papers.

So basically, I was fucked.

He then goes on to tell me that I am supposed to pay him 1200 bucks. I was like "what the fuck". I literally said that btw. He said, using abusive language to a police officer is another offense so you better chill out (all in kannada btw). Anyways, let me give you the break down.

300 bucks for riding the bike and using the cell phone at the same time
500 bucks for expired insurance papers
200 bucks for expired emission test
100 bucks for riding a bike with mirrors
100 bucks for riding a bike with no front ferring

Now, I totally get the first three but what the fuck. If i choose not to have mirrors on my bike, its my fucking choise. If I die, I die. Who the fuck is he to command that I have mirrors. Moreover, if I dont want to have a front ferring on my fucking bike, its my fucking choice again. I like my bike without a ferring and I am going to keep it that way.

Obviously, I couldnt tell him all that. So I just smiled and gave him the "Come on saaar, ganesha habba" bit. He didnt seem to want to budge. He was stern. Anyways, after much pleading and requesting, he gave in and I got out of there after 30 minutes by paying him some 50 bucks and promising to come back with another 100.

In his fucking dreams am I going to go back with that 100. Actually I did go back. But his boss had turned up and he just sent me away.

Anyways, the whole experience today was such a piss off. Spoilt my whole day plan. I so wanted to go to church and sing hymns today. Didnt happen :(

Bastard cops..

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Damm Covers!

I dont know who invented these fucking covers and I dont get why in this world they are so hard to open. Not all the time, but at times atleast. I mean, all these fucking covers that are used to vaccum seal something are always difficult to open. Some just open easily. Like you hold it near the crease with both hands and just burst it open, but others can be a bitch.

Especially, those small candy wrappers. They can be such a piss off. First of all, you try to do it the conventional burst open technique.

You fail.

Then you bite into the wrapper and tear a little piece off. That pisses you off a little cause your tooth hurts and it gives you a vague feeling when you bite, atleast for 10 minutes.

Anyways, then you try and hold the small opening that you've created with two or more fingers and try tearing open the wrapper and somehow at the end of it all, you know that you've lost and the fucking wrapper has won and that the candy won't taste as good as it would have but for all those problems opening the fucking wrapper in the first place.

I vouch to all the companies who are into the food/snacks industry to pack all their products in like easy to open zip-slide pouches. But then again, I'd miss popping the Mentos packets. So everyone other than the Mentos folk, get better wrappers. The ones you guys have right now piss me off.

Friday, September 09, 2005


cdk (dūd, dyūd)
  1. Informal. A fucking wannabe
  2. Slang.
    1. A man; a fellow.
    2. dudes Persons of either sex who are also wannabes
acronym. Cool Dude Karadi, as in bear. Some stupid name that my friend and I came up with sometime back, like say in 1999 or something.

I hate fucking wannabes. They piss me off.
Ever seen some guys on the road and they just dont look right? Ever seen some guys pass by in a car and you know for a fact that they are all prentending to be cool, but actually aren't? Ever seen dudes just hanging around on the by-lanes outside girl colleges wearing those really BIG glasses, a formal shirt (usually white) with jeans and some stupid leather shoes and you just laugh to yourself?

Oh man, they can be such a piss off. They dont have to do anything, interact with me or anything. Them just being around pisses me off. Another thing this breed of dudes have started to do is grow their hair long. I mean what fucking cunts. Couldnt they just let me have my ONE THING? Now, being one of the few people to have long hair in 2001, I somehow felt long hair looked good on me. Now that i see every mother fucker with long hair, it fucking pisses me off. First of all cause they cant carry it off. And secondly, cause I am scared I look like them. I am even contemplating a hair cut!! :(

Anyways, thanks to these stupid fucking dudes, now its just uncool to do so many things. Like,
1. Grow your hair long
2. Take your helmet off and sing
3. Ride on one of the by-lanes of some girls college even if you HAVE to pass it to reach wherever your headed to

Someone please shoot them all down!!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Garbage Trucks

I am sure only Bangaloreans will be able to relate to this post, if anyone of you should be reading this.

Its been quite sometime since something has pissed me off. More than 3 days or so. Actually, things have pissed me off over the last three days, but not to the extent that i'd take time off to blog about them.

But today, I was treated to some good old school Bangalore flavour.

Bangalore seems to be the only city that has garbage trucks. Atleast the types that have open trucks covered with blue tarpolin sheets and riding all over the fucking city collecting garbage. I mean, how fucking stupid. I just dont get these trucks. I dont see a reason why they cant be covered and just loaded by from the back, like it happens everywhere else in the world.

I remember when iwas studying in a mull college near Diary Circle, I had to travel on Hosur Road almost everyday for 3 years. Every morning at 8:00 am, twelve yellow BCC garbage trucks would travel on that road leaving a trail of dirty water that had such a bad stench, you wish you were never born. When i got on that road every morning at 8:45 for instance, there was almost certainly a jam waiting for me. Not only did I have to contend with the fact that I was going to be late for class, I also had to put up with the fucking smell, which was unbearable btw.

I had two options
1. Drop out of college
2. Take another road

I choose neither for reasons best known to me and I was fucking screwed man. I hated it. Today on the way to work, I was reminded of those days. When you see a fucking trail of water and the air suddenly begins to smell like rotten eggs mixed with hing, its indicative enough for you to choose another road, no matter how late you arrive at your destination. Trust me. Its only for the better.

And to make matter worse, i didnt take another road cause I was already late. Litte further ahead on the same road near BTM Layout, the fucking truck is in front of me. I bundled the courage to overtake him, just then it happened. Some garbage came flying at me from the freaking truck. Luckily it left no stains or smells and just fell off. But I felt disgusted.

I rushed to work, washed myself up and only then begun the day.

I hate these fucking bastard BCC Garbage Trucks. They fucking piss me off. Alice, another thing for you to write to Mr. Singh about. And Ms. Peris, for once, I think the city sucks too.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

The Small Things in Life

OMG, you guys are not going to believe me, but you have no idea how much grief that small little metal piece gave me today.

I was born a biker. Always loved the bike over the car. Never intended to own a car and never will either. Having said that, its obvious that if anything pisses me off about biking, its goto be those god damm fucking punctures (if thats how its spelt)

Everytime I decide to get to work on time to please my boss, its almost certain that I'll have a puncture in my tire. Dont ask me why, but its always like that. I get ready to go to work and rush to the garage, take my bike off the center stand and suddenly feel no air in the back tire and look down only to notice that the fucking tube is punctured.

Seriously, why the fuck cant they invent some tires that'll help get rid of this crap. I cant take it anymore. I was delayed by more than an hour thanks to the fucking puncture. This is the 3rd puncture in this month alone and all the 3 punctures have been caused by fucking metal objects like the metal piece you guys see in the image. Nails and other sharp objects contribute at other times to my misery.

I dont understand why in this world someone would just throw nails on the road. What kind of sadistic pleasures would one derive from causing me misery? I dont get it. I've done no wrong to nobody. I've not called anyone names. Sure, I've sung many a song loudly on the bike with actions, but that's no harm done to anyone. Then why the fuck do they goto do this to me..

I actually saved that fucking small little piece to click a photograph and put it up here. It was so small that the puncture shop guy even told me that he'll charge me just 2 bucks instead of the regular 15 cause of the size of the fucking piece that caused the puncture. And then he just laughed.

Once you figure out you have a puncture, your basically screwed. First you goto push your bike to the puncture shop. You cant ride it there cause then you'd risk causing more damage to the neck of the tube thus in turn getting you to spend 120 bucks for a new tube. So you push the bike, in the hot morning sun and you get all sweaty and stuff although you've taken a bath just some 20 mins ago. Then you've goto stand next to your bike and help the puncture dude dismantle you tire by bending the bike towards one side so its easier for him to pull the back wheel off the axle. Then, when he's fixing the tube, you've goto stand there next to him and grumble about the time and how you want him to speed things up although you know for a fact that it'd take that much time either ways for him to fix it. Then he gets pissed off. He does a shabby job. Just pretends like he's looking for a nail in the tube and doesnt really remove it. Just removes a part of it so that you'll have another puncture later that day and the saga continues..

What a piss off I tell ya .. what a fucking piss off.
I hate punctures. I need steel radials for my bike! MRF are you fuckers listening?