Wednesday, December 28, 2005

So we all got dengued today!!

Umm yeah, so they fucked us over..
I was just lying down at home today in the evening and watching TV and with nothing better to watch on TV, I happened to tune into the News.

Apparently some terrorists (from the north, I wont say India, but you'd never know) rode into the IISc in Bangalore in a white ambassador car and opened fire with an AK-47 killing one professor and injuring quite a few others.

So shocked was our state govt, the CM apparently called for an EMERGENCY MEETING at 10AM TOMORROW morning. Now lets look at the facts. What the fuck is the meeting called for? The fucking gangsters are out there, not nabbed yet and he calls for an EMERGENCY meeting, then too at 10 AM in the morning. I am pretty sure he wont be done going to the parlour, shaving his armpits, waxing his legs and getting a manicure before that. So, he decided that he'll just call the emergency meeting at 10 am, instead of say earlier, like maybe.. Just maybe for instance, tonight itself. Or wait, what about his beauty sleep no? Fucking dickwart.

Moreover, I was so fucking shocked when I was watching all this shit on TV. I mean, seriously, give me a fucking break. Some good 20 cops landed up at the spot. No one fucking knows where the ambi is gone or who the fucktard was who opened fire. What the fuck are they all doing getting to that spot after the god damm firing is done with and the guys are already on the loose, somewhere on the streets of Bangalore. Don't you think, these fukwit, fat belleyed policemen should maybe immediately block off all roads and start checking each and every fucking vehicle that remotely resembles an ambassador? Fuck that, shouldn't the city come to a standstill to make sure the fucking culprits are nabbed??

Then, on Headlines today, that Chetan fellow was interviewing someone who's designation is MoS of Home and his name is some kantri Shivprakash or something. Now, another correspondent of Headlines Today has gathered information that it was actually a mod planned out by the LeT to strike Bangalore and or Hyderabad sometime in this week. When Chetan asked that dude, he just refused to accept that it was a terrorist attack. I mean, come on, the guy was just wielding an AK-47 in a campus and shooting people cause he is half blind and thought they were black bucks. OBVIOUSLY. Its no terrorist attack. Its just a small misunderstanding that they'll sort out at tomorrow morning's emergency meeting at 10.

Seriously, what the fuck do you think they are going to be talking about at that meeting? Do you think Dharam "i have no neck so thawp me on my head" Singh is going to gather intelligence by himself by tomorrow morning so he can sit across the table with his fellow dumbfucks at the Vidhana Soudha over hot samosas and coffee and work this all out? Meeting it seems. Bloody fucktards!!

I am shit worried about my family, my friends, everyone of my fellow people cause there is a guy in a white ambi with a loaded AK-47 and the cops are busy shaking hands and posing for the news crew at IISc. Hope everyone is safe. Hope everyone will be ok.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Full on Kalti

"Everyone of us has got a kalti atleast once in our lives."
- Doctor Pissed

Now, having said that, i just hate it when someone gives you a kalti. It didn't happen or anything recently, but I just reminded myself today about how fucked up you feel when someone gives you a kalti.

Now, for the people who don't know what I am talking about, allow me to explain.

So there is this person you know from like school, your apartment complex or something and you being the nice person you are, remember that person very well. A long time goes by and you don't keep in touch or anything for reasons unknown, but you know for a fact that if you spot that someone somewhere, you'll make it a point to acknowledge the fact that you knew that person and atleast for courtesy sake, go and say hi to him/her. You play your part.

But what does the bitch/bastard do. He/she pretends like he/she has no clue who you are. Just looks away when you wave from across the road. Just continues talking to his/her friends like he/she didn't even notice you.

I mean what the fuck right? Its not like i am a bad person or anything, but it sure has happened to me more than once and I fucking hate it. Cant stand it one bit. Its one thing if you tell me you don't want to talk to me, but failing to acknowledge the fact that i even existed in your LIFE sometime back is just something that I cant stand. I mean, sure, I don't remember so many people by name. But I've never even once done this to someone. I smile at random people I don't even know cause they're already smiling at me. I even talk to so many people I have no clue about. That's only cause I don't want them to feel uncomfortable cause i know it fucking hurts..

How i wish i could put my thoughts down. I suck at this. But I know for sure that it pisses me off.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Do Some Dance YAAR

I've been refraining from putting this post up for quite sometime now. But I just couldn't resist anymore. I mean what the fuck are all these northies doing in Bangalore? Not that I hate all of them really. They are all ok. Afterall, we're all Indian and all that jazz, but when did they take over the fucking city?

Everywhere I look, all I see are north Indians. The mangy's have all moved to the gelf. The malayalees are taking over Greenland I am sure. Those were the two danger breeds, but now that they've moved shop, north Indians are spreading. And fast.

There's something very personal to me about this city. I was born here for crying out loud. St. John's Hospital to be precise. I've lived here for almost all my life. Its just not fair when I see so many outsiders in my fucking city! I mean get the fuck out already. Goto Gurgaon and study or something. How about Chandigarh huh? Maybe join a call center there. Like we don't have enough talent going around to fill up the jobs here anyways. But no, you guys have to come here and make life difficult for my fellow Bangaloreans.

Take your MH, HA and other crappy registrations other than KA and drive back. We don't need you here. Sorry if I am being mean, but I am just frustrated man. I mean there used to be a time when bangalore used to rule. Not that many cars on the road, nice clean air, open roads, the works. For some odd reason, when I look back at it, ever since the call center boom happened and these truck load of northies landed up in the city, its just a downhill thing happening for us. They are making too much money, buying more cars, polluting the air, eating a lot, spoiling the roads and causing traffic jams.

Anyways, I think I lost it yesterday at a youth fest in the city. I was sitting by myself and there was some loud music and some fashion event happening. I was waiting for a friend who went to bring me chicken. There was this one dude, sure shot northie standing right next to me. For some odd reason, he kept screaming "Alliance rocks man". I swear those were his exact same words. Now if he did that once, it was fine with me. I wouldn't have been here blogging about NORTHIES in general. But he did it atleast 4 times.

Fucking piss off. I mean who the fuck cares if Alliance rocks. What the fuck is Alliance? Who the fuck really cares? Why scream more than once. Your voice is drowned by the god damm music anyways. Moreover, your pissing us bangaloreans off with that fucked up Northie accent. Ashooo, anger is came.

Go back to dilli. Go!! Just go!!

Monday, November 28, 2005


I really lough farm animals I say. I mean. Not in a "pink" kind of way, but generally. I've always loved going to our ancestral home in Mangalore. Its fun.

But I've never really liked the buffalos though. Reasons:
1. They are always of just one color. Not like them cows. - no spots = no lough
2. They have absolutely no self defense. Sure, they are strong and all and can take down a lion and all that crap, but why would God be so mean and curve its horns inward? I mean what the fuck no?
3. It generally looks kinda stupid.

Ok, I lied. I don't really hate them buffaloes. Never really thought about them that much though. Anyways, so back to my post. So there I was on this road. Believe it or not, there was this buffalo standing in the middle of a fucking traffic signal. I mean, where else in this world could this happen. The buffalo was waiting, just like any one of us for the lights to turn green so we could carry on to our ultimate destinations.

I don't know if its luck or whatever, but I got to stand right next to the buffalo's hind limbs. Its bad standing next to its hind limbs, let me tell you why. First of all, it could poop. Secondly, the smells bad. Anyways, waiting there, I least expected whatever happened next to happen.

I take off my helmet and I was just waiting for the signal to go green when suddenly the buffalo swings its tail man and gives me one chaapa on my face. I mean it didn't hurt and all, but what the fuck. I didn't know what had struck me and before I knew it, two chicks from the auto behind me were giggling. So was the fucking auto driver. I looked right, about 7 people waiting for a bus at the bus stand were also laughing. Ayoo, karma..

Lesson learned. Shoot the buffalo or throw helmet at buffalo at next signal!

Fucking piss off..

BTW, for all your Dr. Pissed fans, my next few posts are going to be the tags that have long been pending. So sorry if I goto disappoint a few of you, but I goto make a few others happee.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Rasna Phenomenon

Not visiting a relative that stays in the same city as you is definitely a bad thing. Let me tell you why.

For starters, there's this phenomenon that occurs almost all the time when you visit them after a long time. Its called the Rasna Phenomenon and it fucking pisses me off.

First of all, I don't like visiting family. I mean its all good and all, but when you don't have time to run to the shop to pick up new jeans, how in this world would you expect me to find time to visit family. Anyways, I don't intend to either cause there's not much you can do once you go there.

Almost always, the minute you enter a relatives house, they'll serve you Rasna or any orange/lime flavored drink. Even before you sit down. So then, you take your glass and sit down on one of the vacant chairs and begin to sip on your drink, casually going about the formalities. While sipping your rasna, you tend to ask stupid questions and pretend to be interested in what they have to say back to you, all the while thinking about how quickly you can get out of there.

Being fake is just not my thing. I cant take those stupid questions that don't mean anything and that are asked just cause you end up being in the same room as them. Don't really know if any of this makes any sense, but that Rasna thing has got to die. We Indians need to find something better to do other than eat and drink when we visit our relatives.

The next time my folks ask me to join them, I am just going to pretend I am sick or something.. Bah!!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Oh! Those bastards

To start things off, I am not bothered about my spellings - just so that EVERYONE knows.

Anyways, I've been having this problem at work off late. There's this new guy who's joined our office to help us with a few regional projects that we're doing cause we don't really know the language and that fucker pisses me off. Terribly, I must add.

You know what he does. Let me tell you. I'll be sitting and sending out some mails at my comp cause we get quite a few requests for quotes and estimates everyday and I'll be working on that every morning. Now he conveniently enters office at around 11:00 in the morning and without a care in the world, fixes a cup of tea for himself (which is OC btw). Once he's got his cup of tea with him, he casually comes to the room that I sit in and starts sipping his tea.

That sounds ok right? But its WRONG.

The bastard has this annoying habit of making that "sirrrrrpppp" noise when he sips his fucking tea. And with all the quiet going around in the office, I hear it loud and clear. I don't want to tell him to embarrass him or anything, but he should realize no? I mean what the fuck ya, he sounds like a fucking camel. Bloody retard. One of these days, I am going to punch is lights out if he continues doing the same shit. He wont know what hit him. Once he figures out what hit him, he'll keep wondering why and he'll just probably go and fix himself another cup of tea..

Ayoo karma!!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Give me twenty minutes..

Oh, hi.
Well, what if i dont have 20 minutes?

I was just waiting to get pissed off again to start blogging and boy, did that bastard at the hospital piss me off or what.

So anyways, here's what happened.
Last sunday, my sister in law kinda had a bad accident at home. She managed to chop the top portion of her finger off while doing some work in the kitchen and we had to rush her to the hospital. My brother and my mom took her to the hospital while i stayed back looking for the chopped off part.

Now figure this out. I manage to find the part somewhere behind a few utensils and I quickly put it in a packet of ice and rushed it to the hospital. I get there a good 20 minutes after my sister in law and my mom and bro get there and they are still sitting there waiting...

God knows for what, but they are waiting. They've bandaged her hand, but thats about it. Everyone seems to be waiting.

So i take the packet with the chopped finger to the guy at the Emergency Counter and tell him that I have the chopped off piece in a packet and that maybe he should take it and store it in the freezer, just so that they can probably salvage some part of it and graft it back on. He tells me to hold on to it and to give him 20 minutes cause he was making a phone call.

20 fucking minutes?
Is he out of his fucking mind?
I mean what the fuck does he want me to do? Pray that the chopped off piece will remain hygenic in a plastic cover filled with ice from home? Cant he take it, clean it all up and keep it ready for the plastic surgeon (who by the way was not at the hospital and was on his way)? Cant he say anything other than "give me 20 minutes"?

God i hate them hospitals. Although I do know for a fact that they are the only place we can turn to when something goes wrong with us, i just fucking hate them. How can they make you wait at an emergency ward? How how how? How can they ask you to fill up forms? Sign consent letters? Talk to you? Make you wait?
Are they fucking insensitive? I am sure they have policy and crap, but who really fucking cares. Its their job to take care of you and they better do it right. Even I can have everyone who needs emergency care come to my place and have them seated in the hall and i'll even serve tea. Why the fuck do they goto go to the hosp to do that? Fucking turds!

Just so that you know, thanks to the bastards at the emergency counter, just the nail bed could be salvaged and my sister in law is ¼ finger short now! And just so that you know, since they couldnt adminster any sort of assistance, someone else died of a heart attack right next to my sister in law. Ajoo, anger .. anger .. anger..

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Life is like a friggin lemon!

Now although I'd have prefered a pissed off entry, i'll buy this one. Its worth a few reads. Moreover, adds color to my blog. Thanks dude for taking the time. Appreciate it.

Guest Entry by BLAH BLAH

I have a pet lemon. I picked him out from a whole bunch of lemons at a book fair recently. They were giving away one lemon with every book bought. I was just idly playing with the lemons in the bag, when I saw this quiet little lemon standing apart from the others. He looked like
he wanted to join in, but couldn't really muster up the courage to ask. My heart went out to this little green fellow; I'd been a kuccha nimboo myself when I was growing up. On the spot, I decided that this was the lemon for me. I quietly picked him out of the bag, and put him
into my pocket. It was the start of one of my most fulfilling and enlightening relationships.

It's not easy to raise a lemon alone, you know. I rushed into it impulsively, not really knowing the sort of responsibility involved with such a task. There are many things you learn only the hard way. For example, my lemon takes it really hard if anyone calls him a lime. He has an inferiority complex about limes. What's more, my brother keeps telling him that I got him by mistake, that I was actually hoping for a lime instead. I've assured and reassured him a hundred
times that this isn't true, but then, there's only so much you can say to salvage a hurt ego. You know how lemons can be once they believe something strongly!

But it's not all bad. There are times when I'm feeling really low, and my lovely lemon manages to cheer me up. We play a little game. I start to tell him all about where lemonade comes from, and then I take him into the kitchen and show him the lemon squeezer and explain in detail
how it works. He then pretends to be totally speechless with fear. Sometimes for variety I put him into the mixer and threaten, jokingly of course, to shred him to pieces. Some days, I just shout out "Juice!" and we share a laugh. I love my lemon. I hope he doesn't die of lemonAIDS.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

It is DONE

Oh well, off late, I havent really been inspired to write, probably cause not many things have been pissing me off lately. Or maybe its just work that is getting to me. But I am not complaining. I am having a ball.

Anyways, as of today, I've decided I am taking a break. A break from all this blogging bits. For sometime atleast. In the past few weeks/months, I know for a fact that i've made quite a few friends and equal number of enemies. The friends I can understand. Ther eare obviously plenty of folk around the world that are pissed off about the same things like me and relate to most of the things I say. The enemies bit I dont get. Dont see why someone would hate me and want to pull a scrap with me. Anyways, it doesnt bother me. Cyberspace has never really intimidated me, really.
For the record though, it'd be nice to know who I am supposed to meet at Koshy's. I can't just go around kissing every other guys/girls ass. By the time I got to the actual guy, the taste in my mouth would only numb the overwhelming experience.

Like I said though, dont matter to me.
So cheers to you all and myself and do have a blast.

But as a sign off, for a friend, here are my

5 greatest joys:

The smell of mud when it rains
The open road
Watching puppies playing
Christmas Carols

(So i've been untagged now and as a piss off, each and everyone of you is tagged now)

Peace, love and tranquility y'all

I miss the days of 0 and 2 comments. Now I blog for the world.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Blogus Anonymous

Read this comment on my blog lately?

Anonymous said...

fucking sad bastard...effects of catcher in the rye havent worn off yet? doctor pissed. quit the fucked up attempt at being holden. you suck at that apart from a whole host of shit including your fucked up "edits"

September 22, 2005 3:05 PM

What, you all might ask am i doing giving something so small so much importance. Well nothing really. I just find it odd though that someone who hates me so much, doesnt have the balls to step up to me and tell me just that.

Anyways, since that comment pissed me off, why not blog about it nah? First off, I dont read books. So, I dont really get the Catcher in the Rye cross reference. Secondly, I find book reading very boring. Holden, as I just found out is the narrator of the book. Who the fuck cares really? I dont even know why I bothered googling.

My edits must sure suck. Thats why they are on TV I guess. Much of what's on TV is crap anyways.

None the less dude, you have your opinions, but like they say, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one!
You are my asshole.. :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Nitwit Marty!

I've been awfully happy lately. Nothing's pissed me off for over a day. Infact, nothing pissed me off today as well. I went to work, got back early, spoke to my folks, played with the new pups at home, ate dinner and then came up to the living room to watch some television while eating food and then it HAPPENED.

With the lack of entertainment on television these days, I've stopped eating dinner at home. Before it used to be so much fun. Lots of things to watch while eating dinner on Star World and all. Now only faggy serials that make absolutely no sense. Not that The Practice wasnt good or anything, but I am talking about the general situation of the content on television. Only Monday nights are ok ok.. All the other days just suck. Even Apprentice is over now. Bahh.. I cant wait for the Amazing Race though. Anyways, chuck all that. I'll diss the shows on tv some other day. For today though, there was something even worse.

So there I was in the living room and The Practice gets over and a show called Rockstar INXS started playing. Now, I goto be honest. Never really liked their music. Wasnt a fan at all. But I thought hell, its a show on rock music. How could that go wrong nah? So I tuned in and got comfy. The first guy to sing did a decent job covering "Bohemian Rhapsody" I thought. Right after he was done, I went down, left my plate, washed my hands and came back running upstairs to watch the show and boy was I in for a suprise or what..

Some dude called Marty Casey who looks like a total faggot is fucking up one of my most fav songs of all time. He's doing his own version of Wish You Were Here and it sucks. I mean what the fuck dude, if your going to fucking cover the song, atleast do it right. Dont fucking change it cause you want to. Dont cover it at all. Fucking mother fucking twit. He has the nerve to give full attitude while singing the song and all and he kept giving those basketball looks to the audience. Fuck, I hate it when people do that. I cant explain what the basketball look is if you guys dont play basketball. Its basically a look you give to the other players in your team and the other team when you get a basket and feel all super cool and all cause you know everyone is looking at you.. Oh does that piss me off or what..

Anyways, I have nothing more to say.. I just hate the mother fucker. He spoilt it for me :(

I am going to sing a line for myself from the song like the way its meant to be sung. Like the way I sang it for non-comp acoustic music in my first year of college.

"How I wish, how I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year
Running over the same old grounds
What have we found
The same old fears
Wish you were here"


Sunday, September 18, 2005

I got dengued today!

If you guys are wondering what the topic title means, fret not. I basically intend to tell all my ardent fans that I got fucked today!

How you may ask? Well, let me take the fucking time to explain.

I went to work today. I know, what a crappy life I must be leading that I need to go to work on a Sunday. But work is work dude. When you enjoy it as much as I do, you wont complain. Anyways, i finished doing what I was supposed to in about 30 minutes and I get a message from a friend. I thought to myself, let me just message him while I am riding the bike. I mean come on, what the fuck could happen right? I've done this a million times, ride the bike and message someone, even talk on the phone by sticking the phone inside my helmet. So, what the fuck, I could pull this off too. So I started my bike, took off from work and started typing the message with my left hand while accelerating with the right. I didnt crash up or anything. I was just super excited about the message that I didnt notice a stupid fucking cop just waiting at the end of the road to catch me.

And mind you, he did.

He pulled me over to the side and cracked the usual kannada movie joke - "eyyy, jogi, yell hogtha iddiya kano?" (btw, just so that you people from north india and around the world know, Jogi is a new kannada movie where the protagonist has long locks, just like mine and I've got this fucking Jogi thing from countless number of people before the cop, street children, auto drivers, the lot. First it was Uppi, now its fucking Jogi. I am going to cut my fucking hair. You just wait..)

Anyways, so there I was, caught red handed. I was guilty of riding the bike and using the phone at the same time, which mind you, is an offence. So he asked me to pull my bike over and I did. Then he started cracking jokes with me. He then casually checked my papers and to my fucking suprise, both my emission test certificate and my insurance had fucking expired. I mean what crap. Just 2 minutes before handing out the papers to him, I was happily riding my bike with super confidence and being super thrilled and all and then out of the blue this guy catches me and fucks up my sunday. I was even under the impression that my bike papers were up to date, but they obviously werent. The emission test expired in March 2005 and the Oriental Insurance paper was done with way back in Feb itself.

So now I had 3 offenses against my record. I was guilty of riding my bike and using the mobile phone at the same time and riding the bike with expired papers.

So basically, I was fucked.

He then goes on to tell me that I am supposed to pay him 1200 bucks. I was like "what the fuck". I literally said that btw. He said, using abusive language to a police officer is another offense so you better chill out (all in kannada btw). Anyways, let me give you the break down.

300 bucks for riding the bike and using the cell phone at the same time
500 bucks for expired insurance papers
200 bucks for expired emission test
100 bucks for riding a bike with mirrors
100 bucks for riding a bike with no front ferring

Now, I totally get the first three but what the fuck. If i choose not to have mirrors on my bike, its my fucking choise. If I die, I die. Who the fuck is he to command that I have mirrors. Moreover, if I dont want to have a front ferring on my fucking bike, its my fucking choice again. I like my bike without a ferring and I am going to keep it that way.

Obviously, I couldnt tell him all that. So I just smiled and gave him the "Come on saaar, ganesha habba" bit. He didnt seem to want to budge. He was stern. Anyways, after much pleading and requesting, he gave in and I got out of there after 30 minutes by paying him some 50 bucks and promising to come back with another 100.

In his fucking dreams am I going to go back with that 100. Actually I did go back. But his boss had turned up and he just sent me away.

Anyways, the whole experience today was such a piss off. Spoilt my whole day plan. I so wanted to go to church and sing hymns today. Didnt happen :(

Bastard cops..

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Damm Covers!

I dont know who invented these fucking covers and I dont get why in this world they are so hard to open. Not all the time, but at times atleast. I mean, all these fucking covers that are used to vaccum seal something are always difficult to open. Some just open easily. Like you hold it near the crease with both hands and just burst it open, but others can be a bitch.

Especially, those small candy wrappers. They can be such a piss off. First of all, you try to do it the conventional burst open technique.

You fail.

Then you bite into the wrapper and tear a little piece off. That pisses you off a little cause your tooth hurts and it gives you a vague feeling when you bite, atleast for 10 minutes.

Anyways, then you try and hold the small opening that you've created with two or more fingers and try tearing open the wrapper and somehow at the end of it all, you know that you've lost and the fucking wrapper has won and that the candy won't taste as good as it would have but for all those problems opening the fucking wrapper in the first place.

I vouch to all the companies who are into the food/snacks industry to pack all their products in like easy to open zip-slide pouches. But then again, I'd miss popping the Mentos packets. So everyone other than the Mentos folk, get better wrappers. The ones you guys have right now piss me off.

Friday, September 09, 2005


cdk (dūd, dyūd)
  1. Informal. A fucking wannabe
  2. Slang.
    1. A man; a fellow.
    2. dudes Persons of either sex who are also wannabes
acronym. Cool Dude Karadi, as in bear. Some stupid name that my friend and I came up with sometime back, like say in 1999 or something.

I hate fucking wannabes. They piss me off.
Ever seen some guys on the road and they just dont look right? Ever seen some guys pass by in a car and you know for a fact that they are all prentending to be cool, but actually aren't? Ever seen dudes just hanging around on the by-lanes outside girl colleges wearing those really BIG glasses, a formal shirt (usually white) with jeans and some stupid leather shoes and you just laugh to yourself?

Oh man, they can be such a piss off. They dont have to do anything, interact with me or anything. Them just being around pisses me off. Another thing this breed of dudes have started to do is grow their hair long. I mean what fucking cunts. Couldnt they just let me have my ONE THING? Now, being one of the few people to have long hair in 2001, I somehow felt long hair looked good on me. Now that i see every mother fucker with long hair, it fucking pisses me off. First of all cause they cant carry it off. And secondly, cause I am scared I look like them. I am even contemplating a hair cut!! :(

Anyways, thanks to these stupid fucking dudes, now its just uncool to do so many things. Like,
1. Grow your hair long
2. Take your helmet off and sing
3. Ride on one of the by-lanes of some girls college even if you HAVE to pass it to reach wherever your headed to

Someone please shoot them all down!!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Garbage Trucks

I am sure only Bangaloreans will be able to relate to this post, if anyone of you should be reading this.

Its been quite sometime since something has pissed me off. More than 3 days or so. Actually, things have pissed me off over the last three days, but not to the extent that i'd take time off to blog about them.

But today, I was treated to some good old school Bangalore flavour.

Bangalore seems to be the only city that has garbage trucks. Atleast the types that have open trucks covered with blue tarpolin sheets and riding all over the fucking city collecting garbage. I mean, how fucking stupid. I just dont get these trucks. I dont see a reason why they cant be covered and just loaded by from the back, like it happens everywhere else in the world.

I remember when iwas studying in a mull college near Diary Circle, I had to travel on Hosur Road almost everyday for 3 years. Every morning at 8:00 am, twelve yellow BCC garbage trucks would travel on that road leaving a trail of dirty water that had such a bad stench, you wish you were never born. When i got on that road every morning at 8:45 for instance, there was almost certainly a jam waiting for me. Not only did I have to contend with the fact that I was going to be late for class, I also had to put up with the fucking smell, which was unbearable btw.

I had two options
1. Drop out of college
2. Take another road

I choose neither for reasons best known to me and I was fucking screwed man. I hated it. Today on the way to work, I was reminded of those days. When you see a fucking trail of water and the air suddenly begins to smell like rotten eggs mixed with hing, its indicative enough for you to choose another road, no matter how late you arrive at your destination. Trust me. Its only for the better.

And to make matter worse, i didnt take another road cause I was already late. Litte further ahead on the same road near BTM Layout, the fucking truck is in front of me. I bundled the courage to overtake him, just then it happened. Some garbage came flying at me from the freaking truck. Luckily it left no stains or smells and just fell off. But I felt disgusted.

I rushed to work, washed myself up and only then begun the day.

I hate these fucking bastard BCC Garbage Trucks. They fucking piss me off. Alice, another thing for you to write to Mr. Singh about. And Ms. Peris, for once, I think the city sucks too.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

The Small Things in Life

OMG, you guys are not going to believe me, but you have no idea how much grief that small little metal piece gave me today.

I was born a biker. Always loved the bike over the car. Never intended to own a car and never will either. Having said that, its obvious that if anything pisses me off about biking, its goto be those god damm fucking punctures (if thats how its spelt)

Everytime I decide to get to work on time to please my boss, its almost certain that I'll have a puncture in my tire. Dont ask me why, but its always like that. I get ready to go to work and rush to the garage, take my bike off the center stand and suddenly feel no air in the back tire and look down only to notice that the fucking tube is punctured.

Seriously, why the fuck cant they invent some tires that'll help get rid of this crap. I cant take it anymore. I was delayed by more than an hour thanks to the fucking puncture. This is the 3rd puncture in this month alone and all the 3 punctures have been caused by fucking metal objects like the metal piece you guys see in the image. Nails and other sharp objects contribute at other times to my misery.

I dont understand why in this world someone would just throw nails on the road. What kind of sadistic pleasures would one derive from causing me misery? I dont get it. I've done no wrong to nobody. I've not called anyone names. Sure, I've sung many a song loudly on the bike with actions, but that's no harm done to anyone. Then why the fuck do they goto do this to me..

I actually saved that fucking small little piece to click a photograph and put it up here. It was so small that the puncture shop guy even told me that he'll charge me just 2 bucks instead of the regular 15 cause of the size of the fucking piece that caused the puncture. And then he just laughed.

Once you figure out you have a puncture, your basically screwed. First you goto push your bike to the puncture shop. You cant ride it there cause then you'd risk causing more damage to the neck of the tube thus in turn getting you to spend 120 bucks for a new tube. So you push the bike, in the hot morning sun and you get all sweaty and stuff although you've taken a bath just some 20 mins ago. Then you've goto stand next to your bike and help the puncture dude dismantle you tire by bending the bike towards one side so its easier for him to pull the back wheel off the axle. Then, when he's fixing the tube, you've goto stand there next to him and grumble about the time and how you want him to speed things up although you know for a fact that it'd take that much time either ways for him to fix it. Then he gets pissed off. He does a shabby job. Just pretends like he's looking for a nail in the tube and doesnt really remove it. Just removes a part of it so that you'll have another puncture later that day and the saga continues..

What a piss off I tell ya .. what a fucking piss off.
I hate punctures. I need steel radials for my bike! MRF are you fuckers listening?

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Awkward Silence

Oh, well, just when I thought I wouldnt really be pissed off about anything today, this had to happen.

Just so that everyone knows now and there are no more awkward silences, my girlfriend and I kinda fell out of our relationship sometime back. Cant really call her MY girlfriend right now cause she's with someone else, but trust me, thats not the pissing off part. I am happy for her and am sure glad she's happy doing what she is doing in life.

Anyways, getting back to the post. My folks and I share a very open relationship. I mean, they have no qualms about me seeing someone and they are like one of the first few people to know when I do start seeing anyone. I dont really have to tell them. They kinda already figure it out and stuff.

One thing though, when you break up with someone, for some odd reason, you dont find the courage to go and tell you parents about it. No matter how open they are about the issue. Call me a coward or whatever, I dont really mind it. But honestly, I just find it odd. I can tell all my friends about it, but I cant tell my parents. Its just a crappy feeling...

So I get back home today from work and I was sitting down in the hall and just talking to my mom who was all enthu about watching some of my edits on TV and feeling proud and all. Just then, she turns towards me and says "So, where's XYZ? Haven't seen her in a while and she doesnt even call or come home anymore". An awkward silence follows... I ponder over the option of lying to her, like I have done in the past just, but I decided to otherwise today and to put an end to this..

I dont blame my mom. I blame myself. But these frigging awkward situations piss me off. Moreso the silence. I finally found it in my heart to tell her today though. I am sure she'll tell my dad and it'll all be cool and no one will bring it up anymore, but thats not the point. These awkward situations are such a piss off .. Fuck, I cant even put it to words to remember about this someday down the line...
This sucks..

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Mud Splashes

Ok not really. Except maybe if I was in a mud pool reliving my fantasies. But, shit crap man. I love the rains alright. They make me happy. Except for 2 things.
1. Getting wet in the rain while riding back home on the bike wearing the only set of nice formal clothes that I own
2. The mud splashes from all the cars/bikes/trucks/busses/bullock-carts/etc.

Now dont get me wrong, I can make do with getting wet in the rain wearing formals, except that I dont wear a banyan (oh, I love that word) and everyone will get to see my sexy body, but mud from the revolutions of a car tyre, I cant handle.

It rained like mad last night and I worked all night at the office cause I was doing an edit that is supposed to be aired tomorrow on ESPN. Anyways, after working all night and heading back home in the morning, the last thing I need all over my face is MUD. I mean what the fuck. These vehicle owners in and around Bangalore dont believe in mud flaps. Because of all the slush collected in their fucking tyres, the bikers on the road are the ones that are hit the worst. I ended up riding behind this Tata Indica and this bugger, ironically ends up being a cabbie for a call center. He, without knowledge that he has just exited from a mud road that got totally wet because of yesterday's rains ends up taking off at this signal and his tyres kept squirting out mud right into my face. Ironically enough, I had my helmet off and got a good taste of good ol` bangalore mud.

Fucking stupid fucking cabbie pissed me off today. The next time this happens, considering that it will happen cause of all the rain, I am going to throw my helmet at him, come what may..

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Christian Retreats

Oh man, I am Catholic alright, Roman Catholic at that, but fucking shit, I dont get these fucking christian retreats. They bloody piss me off and when I have aunties and uncles talking about how these fucking miracle works work their charms and apparently HEAL people, it fucking pisses me off even more.

Not to be blasphemous or anything, but I dont like those guys on TV. Especially these Tamil guys who claim to have the hand of God and to have the power to frigging heal the world. Then why the fuck are they on TV? Why arent they out there doing shit for the people, lets say in Somalia for instance, where they are really fucking needed?

Why the fuck do they goto stand on a stage, hold their hand out and knock someone on the head hard enough to make that person go crashing down to the floor only to have him wake up much later after lying unconcious for a while because of the hard knock on their head and cause of the pain from crashing down to the floor and temporarily feeling weightlessness and happy soon after.

I just dont get it I tell you. And when they try to spread the good word, that pisses me off even more. Thank you, but I dont want to be a part of this crap! You can take your salad elsewhere..

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Death Metal

With due respect to all the original metal bands, I think covering Death bands and other really hard metal bands totally sucks. I mean, seriously man, come on. I am sure each and every one of of you reading this blog has been to one Autumn Muse or a NLS fest or something and quite honestly, although you might be a metal fan, I am pretty darn sure that you guys agree with me when I say ALMOST ALL THE BANDS THAT COVER A DEATH METAL BAND SUCKS!!

Actually hold on a minute there. It doesnt really matter if you guys agree with me or not, I still think they suck. They go on stage and make noise. First off, they cant pull off the riffs. Secondly, the drummer cant keep time. Then why the fuck attempt it. Just cause I am in love with Dream Theater, Rush and the likes wont make me pick up the frigging guitar and go on stage and do a Petrucci solo right?

I dont get our local bands from Bangalore. Almost 90% of them play covers. Not that I hate covers or anything, but if then end up covering death metal and doing a crappy job out of it, whats the point in covering the music in the first place? They'd rather not play. Either that, or they can probably cover some easier music to play, like we did.

To make matter worse, I hate death metal as a genre of music. Its just not pleasing and doesnt impress me technically either.

Anyways, I think semi pro bands or whatever-the-fuck-they-are-called-bands should just stop playing on stage and saving the audience the trouble. I skipped going to this year's Freedom Jam cause I knew there'd be more than 45 bands out of the shortlisted 50 covering death metal. Thanks a bunch for spoiling my experience of it all. Bastards..

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Maa, where's the Spam?

spam (spăm) pronunciation

Unsolicited e-mail, often of a commercial nature, sent indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups; junk e-mail.

tr.v., spammed, spam·ming, spams.
  1. To send unsolicited e-mail to.
  2. To send (a message) indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups.
meaning derived from

Oh, what the fuck.. I've been had!
There are some fucking strange odd programs, otherwise reffered to as BOTS that have invaded my frigging blog. I just realized that I was taken for a ride when one of these bots posted on my frigging blog about my impeccable command over the english language and crap like that and I replied even! hahaha!

Anyways, these bots are now pissing me off. They are getting on my nerves and thats why I've enabled WORD VERIFICATION for the comments section. Else, they'll go on spamming and I cant do shit. Some might suggest disabling the anon comments option. But I cant do that. Most of my friends who visit this place arent really members and like to comment. Thus, the only other option, word verification.

Now, as a warning, dont fall prey like me. These bots are nothing but scripts and are out to get you. Down with the fucking bots.. down down down

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Digging - In general

I know I've blogged about this earlier and I know I'd also commented on another person's blog that I wouldnt post this cause his anthem rendition made me happy again, but I cant resist.

I was on my way back home from work today and I got stuck at the signal near the Ring Road (Koramangala End). I switched off my bike, took off my helmet and decided to wait..
As i began to look around, I saw this one guy on the other side of the road and he was carrying a backpack and was dressed like a guy who was definately educated and he looked sane enough to know his place in this world. Say about 10 seconds after I spotted him, he began digging his nose, quite furiously even.

Now dont mind me, atleast know that you are surrounded by another 6 people who are looking at you digging your nose. Doesnt that bother you? I mean, yuckkk!!

Then the signal turned green and I passed him and I actually saw him still frantically busy at his nose picking skills. Then I just thought to myself. Imagine if that guy was doing what he was doing early in the morning and then headed to my office. I'd have to shake hands with that guy and he'd have bogger all over his fingers. He'd probably have little residue from all those bogger balls that he'd have made and thrown away onto the street after picking his nose for such a long time and I'd have to shake hands with him.... NooooOoOooooO!!!!

Thankfully though, he doesnt look like the kind of guy who'd visit an office like ours. But then again, no one said he was alone! I am sure there are others and the thought of not knowing if the guys you are shaking hands with have been digging their nose or not and going ahead and shaking hands with them scares me.

Its just disgusting you know.
I've decided to go the Japanese/Chinese/whatever the fuck Way .. Mushi mushi..

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Cloved Laddus!

Now I am a typical South Indian fella with South Indian habits and tastes. But when it comes to laddu's and pani puri, I absolutely love the way the northies prepare the dishes.

For one, give me any boondhi laddu from any northie sweet shop and I'll finish it within 8 seconds flat. But then there are these yucky south indian laddu's that are often mistaken for their northern counterparts.

Laddu's are from north india and are meant to be from there. Why, you ask? Well, cause we south indians cant make laddu's for nuts. Like for instance, a north indian laddu is just a shit load of boondhi and ghee with a dash of cashew nuts and thats about it. A south indian laddu on the other hand has shit loads of boondhi, DALDA and cloves. I mean what the fuck are cloves doing in a laddu. Its like some sadistic bastard who wanted to spoil the taste of them laddu's suddenly thought of putting it there and that ritual has caught on until this day.

I cant stand them cloves in my laddus. They piss me off. Its like I put the whole laddu in my mouth and then bite into a clove and hate the taste cause its yuck and I have to try and seperate it from the rest of the laddu inside my mouth with my tongue and then remove it out with my fingers and throw it away. Instead, why the fuck cant they all just let them north indians make the laddus just the way I love them?

But no.. the sadistic bastard hates me!!

Friday, August 05, 2005

All the crap!

Oh man .. All the crap that goes into our papers just pisses me off.
I am sorry I havent written to myself in a long time, its just that I have been shit busy with work. Have 3 more ads to be done with by the end of the month and cant seem to find the time at all to work on all of them.

Having said that, I am one of the buggers who needs to read the paper every morning. I have noticed the changes in content that our newspapers are going every day. Times of India started it all and now, they are a fucking SOFT PORN daily. I mean, being a guy and stuff and having them publish all those images in the paper should make me happy. But it doesnt.

I aint no gay or anything and I aint attracted to men and want them to publish images of guys instead, but man, geez, there are small kids reading the fucking papers. I am not talking about really small kids. I am talking about the 13-14 year old's who are just about figuring out that there is more to life than "mar kothi" and "lagori" and I am sure the last thing they need to be reading about at their testostorone filled age is "how to satisfy your man/woman over the weekend".

Seriously, come on!! There is Cosmopolitan for all that crap. I say, its all done in bad taste and it aint good. If any of you have seen any of the images published in the god damm Bangalore Times, you'll know excatly what I am talking about. And the print.. Good Lord, the crap they try and educate you with. It gets worse over Saturday and Sunday too..

Someone needs to shoot down the people doing this to our morning papers. Then again, come to think of it, I could subscribe to "The Economic Times"..

Monday, July 25, 2005

Roadkill Blues

Oh man, if any of you guys are the screaming types, don't read on (and no pun intended on the word screaming types)

I was getting back from work today and I have to take the intermediate ring road back home. It was late, it was a little dark too and it was raining. Somewhere almost near the end of the road, I was riding pretty slow, say 40 kmph or so, when I saw this Tata Sumo, definitely one working as a pick/up drop cab for some fucked up call center around town, pull up right behind me and overtake me. He was doing a good 80 kmph atleast, twice as fast as what I was doing. He overtakes me and just at that moment a dog crosses the road and BHAM!!

The fucker hits the dog on its hind legs and the dog goes airborne for about 5 seconds and lands a good 10-15 feet away, whimpering and badly injured. That mother fucker of a cab driver doesn't even care to stop and look. He just continues driving on the road like nothing ever happened.

And there I was, behind him, having witnessed it all. I had a dog lying on the road side in front of me and there was little I could do. I did stop, but the dog was almost dead, was just twitching its legs when I got near it. I felt really crappy. I wasn't attached to the dog or something, but I felt really crappy. I wish I could have done something, to help the dog survive or shove a hot iron rod up that cab drivers ass. Fucking mother fucker!

Anyways, what really pisses me off though is the fact that there are so many stray dogs in Bangalore. I could be all rude and blame the cabbie for driving fast. But I'd only be kidding myself. Dogs aren't meant to be on the road. They need to be at a home, safe from danger. I just hope someone does something, other than pick them up and electrocute them.
Divine intervention pleaseeeeeee...
I've had enough of this shit everyday. It saddens me.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Two Choices...

I have reached that state of mind again when I dont have any clue about what to do next.
I mean I am having shit loads of fun, there is enough for me to do everyday, I love my job, yet, there are things that still bother me and I have absolutely no idea what to do about them

I've let them bother me all this while. I've made the conscious attempt to put it all behind me and look forward to a brighter day. Yet, I keep getting dragged down into the same shit all the time. The further I try to run away from it, the faster I realize that i am only running around in circles.

It wouldnt make much sense to any of you reading this, but I need to put this down for the prints that I'll be taking at the end of the year; to remind myself about how miserable life can be just cause of a thing or two that hasnt really left me.

But then again, in the words of Mark Knopfler

"Why worry, there should be laughter after pain,
There should be sunshine after rain,
These things have always been the same,
So why worry now.."

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

What the Futch

Oh man, what crappy service.

I goto tell you all, dont ever get yourself a FUTCH number. You'll only end up getting screwed in the long run. Trust me.

Over the last one week, I've had very little time to do anything that I've wanted to do. Yet, I take time off to sit and post this message cause I care for you all (not really)

First of all, Futch managed to put me out of communication for nearly 16 hours when all they had to do wouldnt have taken them a mere 2 minutes [their confession]. I went to them to get my SIM card migrated from pre-paid to post-paid cause I get to claim my telephone bills from work. They take 16 hours to do that and in the intrim period, they put me out of communication. I did excatly what any other respectable human being would have done. I marched straight up to the Futch Shop and gave them a piece of my mind. They assured me that this would never be repeated.

We took off to Ooty to shoot an Ad. When I got back two days later, they barred all my incoming and outgoing calls cause apparently my verification wasn't done yet.

Hey wait a minute, what the fuck you guys talking about? I thought I wasnt going to be bothered anymore..

WRONG answer Doctor. Wrong fucking answer.
I walked into their Futch Shop again, got the issue sorted out, with the only difference being that two people assured me this time around.

A day passes by without any problems what so ever.

Yesterday though, my display suddenly read "Sim Card Authentication Failed"

Hey wait a minute, what the fuck you guys talking about? I thought I wasnt going to be bothered anymore..

WRONG answer Doctor. Wrong fucking answer.
I walked into their Futch Shop again, got the issue sorted out, with the only difference being that three people assured me this time around.

They activate it again.

Today, they bar all my Outgoing Calls again.

I have decided to give up my number and couldnt really care less if I have to get my number changed. Futch sucks and they can take their connection and stick it up their ass!

But then the problem is, everyone who knows me with relation to work has just this number and I cant help it but make do. Fuck futch. I am screwed.

Btw, I composited the image myself. Even I am as creative as those fucked up futch fuckers who figured out that fuckall futch campaign that I fell for and picked up this connection.

To those of you who are not on futch, stay away from them.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Old Habits Die Hard

Just today while I was travelling to work, I swear to God, I saw nearly 7 people at various junctures of the road who were peeing on the road side.

I mean give me a fucking break man. Its 9:00 am in the morning. You've obviously done whatever you had to do when you woke up this morning. Like the regular stuff. Take a crap, and while your at it, you've obviously pee'd, and you've gone about doing whatever you do every morning. What amazes me though is, in a mere fraction of say 2 hours, how the fuck can you feel such a strong urge to pee again, that too on the road side?

Dont you fucking have any dignity? How badly is your image tarnished? Dont you care? I mean seirously, the guys I saw today aren't those guys who earn a living washing cars or something. They looked like guys who actually sat in a cement shop and sold cement or were people with enough money in their hands to afford a toilet. What pisses me off though is that they choose to pee on the side of the main fucking road. The same road used by hundred's of people just like me who've obviously seen these dudes letting go. What a fucked up image to begin your day with.

The cops should probably get a hold of all these fuckers and chop their dicks off. But the problem with that is that the fucking cops in our city tend to pee on the roads too. So basically, we are all fucked and we have to live with this image until Honda figures out something for us.

P.S: The image above is only a representation of something that I also noticed today painted on the Cash Pharmacy wall. Its not the actual photograph. Excuse the spelling mistakes.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Chain Mails

I dont quite recall blogging about this, but hell, it pisses me off so much that I might as well.

These fucking chain mails totally piss me off. Its not like I asked for them or anything. Now call me a skeptic if you please, but for crying out loud, forwarding an email around isint going to change the world or buy Ann or whoever the fuck a new set of clothes cause she suffers from Cancer.

I dont want to be rude and hurt anyone's sentiments, but for fucks sake man, we've go to stop believeing in this crap and forwarding shit to everybody. It just doesnt work. Trust me!

If you'd trust anyone, please for crying out loud, trust me, IT DOESNT WORK!

Taken for granted that half of us never even read the contents of the god damm chain mails, yet we happen to read that one impact line, clearly put there for a reason by some smart ass fuck who wants to rule the world, and find it within ourselves to feel sympathy/empathy (never figured the difference in Philip's Class) towards that author and his cause and forward it to almost everyone on our mailing list.

How fucking STUPID.
Dont forward it to me.

Thank you


Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Now, I just joined work at a studio and I happen to work with this other guy. Dont get me wrong, I am not here bitching about him behind his back. I was just reminded by him today how much I really hate guys who sing songs when they dont really know the lyrics and dont sound good while singing that particular song.

"You may say I'm a dreamer,
But I am not the WONLY one"

were the only two lines he seemed to know of the song and he kept repeating it. And then he'd casually pretend like he knew the rest of the song but preffered to humm it instead and then would get back to the mentioned lines again.

What a piss off. Anyways, rest assured, he's not the wonly one with the problem. I am sure there are tons of them whom I need to stay away from.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Ugly Clothing

Ok, now don't get me wrong and all, but I am all for fashion.
Maybe I aint the most fashionable of the lot. I'll wear white t-shirts and jeans almost anywhere. But I just hate it when people over do it. I don't have a problem when the people I meet dress the way the want to and are able to carry it off. But when they over do it, it just pisses me off.

I am sure we've all met a person or the other who wore something that didn't fit, if you know what I mean. Imagine meeting someone who'd wear jeans that are striped with black and pink. YUCK!
And to top it off, he's wearing a blue frilled shirt.

I cant explain it. It just looked pathetic. Felt like getting up from my chair and slippering him to death. I wouldn't want to even know that guy, let alone hang out with him in public. Thank God he wasn't one of my acquaintances.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Caught Red Handed

Ok, I am really sorry for using his picture but hell, it looked nice and suited the context.

Dont you guys just hate it when you catch someone red handed doing something wrong and then confront that person and he/she just goes on and on lying about it and denying it, jumping from one lie to the other with the false hope that they wont get caught in the long run.

I certainly hate it and I couldnt care less if you guys hated it or not.
I mean when your caught, your caught. Why bother trying to make things up and lie about it and then worsen things? You should just be candid about it and get it over with, no matter what the consequences.

I feel like giving them one tight slap when they go on and on lying. I guess I have this knack of figuring things out and knowing for sure if a person is lying or not. Like that guy Dixit from college says, ask once and you'll get an answer, ask again and if he/she is lying by the forth question, your bound to be sure. I am kinda sure this theory works with all the bullshit that I get everyday from so many people..

I just hate it..

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Its been a while

I know its been while since I last posted, but thats maily cause of two reasons.
In the past couple of days, I've been awfully happy with the way things have been unfolding and I have had absolutely no problem with anyone, except maybe for an odd car driver or a guy in a bus spitting out of his window. But all in all, a wonderful last few days.

None the less, the two reasons being.
1. I was lazy
2. I was happy being lazy!

I hope something pisses me off today though so I can come back and be a woman about it..

Friday, June 03, 2005

Being Hurt

hurt (hûrt) pronunciation
  1. Something that hurts; a pain, injury, or wound.
  2. Mental suffering; anguish: getting over the hurt of reading the letter.
meanings derived from

Being hurt can be such a piss off. I dont mean it in a physical way. I mean, if someone threw a punch at you, you'll just retaliate and throw a punch back. Thats settled. You wont go back home and think about it. You might think about it on the way back home, but its soon forgotten.

When you actually think about all the other things that have hurt you or caused you pain, you soon realized that it can be such a piss off to be hurt. When someone does something that affects you in one way or another and causes you pain, you cant really blame the other person but yourself. I am not going to explain why I said that, but I just realized today that for some odd reason, being hurt is always coupled with you feeling kinda pissed off with things. Moreso, venting out your anger.

Being hurt can be such a piss off.. if you know what i mean.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The Deadly Combination of Rain and Mud

slush (slŭsh) pronunciation
  1. Partially melted snow or ice.
  2. Soft mud; slop; mire.
meanings derived from

First off, I know its been a long time since I posted last on the blog, but hell my brother got married and I was damm busy.
I am still busy running around doing all his stuff (no pun intended and no underlying subliminal messages either) and he's kinda pissed me off enough to run this blog for months, daily updated too with his ill planning and screaming for me every single minute of the day. Anyways, I take it as any good brother would and just keep quiet and do all that I can to help.

None the less, today, although I am still busy editing my brother's wedding video, I couldn't help but remind myself that I needed to document all this. The deadly combination of rain and mud which gives you "slush" is deadly alright.

If you are riding a bike like mine with absolutely no threading on the front tire cause you don't have money to replace the tire, then you're fucked. Moreover, if you stay somewhere in Gottigere as I do where nearly ¼ of the roads are mud roads, you're fuuuucccked. Also, if you happen to live in Gottigere which is a slightly higher area than the rest of Bangalore which tends to get most of the rain, I think we already know what you're experiencing right now.

I slipped and fell today. Right into the mud and it was all mucky and stuff and I got all slush all over my jeans and my t-shirt. It fucking sucks let me tell you. Iwasn'tt riding fast, nor was I riding slow. I just slipped and fell cause of all the dampness on the road and my tires failing to have any traction with the road.

And since I fell and dirtied all that I had on, I am pissed off today!
Fucking shit!

Thursday, May 19, 2005


Dont listen to what the pic has to say.
Fuck them vegetarians. Its like this alright. You host a dinner, call a bunch of people and order dinner. You assume that everyone is a meat eater, else why in the world would they be humans. I mean, go be a cow or something. That'd help solve two problems.
1. I wont have to hear you crib about the lack of nice tasting vegetarian food.
2. More meat for me.

If they are going to argue about eating other animals, I say, why stop at eating animals? Cause they are alive eh? Then what about them plants? Not alive?
Go ahead, crib. I dont give a rats arse. Bring your own food the next time you come house for dinner though. But come. I have no issues with you vegetarians coming home though. I just dont approve of your food choice.

I hate it that vegetarians wont touch anything made of umm.. meat/flesh/blood whatever! Its like an additional burden. Something that you've goto think about and care about cause they have to be taken care of. Like its some kind of disability or something. Now if one of my friend was confined to a wheel chair, I'd have hired additional guys to stand at the front door to help carry him in. Why the fuck do I goto bother about "vegetarians"?
Take only the gravy and stay away from the Kababs. Else, go become a cow. Its the order of the world. Man eat cow, cow eat plant/grass. Thus man gets cow and grass (no pun intended). What else could it be? Man eat grass, cow eat man and thus cow get man and grass? Grass eat cow, man eat grass, thus man get cow and grass!

Oh i could go on. The point being, i take time out from doing whatever I was doing (which included filling confetti into small pouches to be distributed at the wedding the day after tomorrow) and blogging about something cause VEGETARIANS piss me off shit loads!

Monday, May 16, 2005

Being Busy and Stuff

Ok, so I am not going to be posting for atleast a week or somewhere close. Rest assured things will sure be pissing me off in the coming week, but I cant really help it. I got tons of running around to do. Afterall, my brother's getting married on the 21st. I know we've had our share of fights and our share of arguments and disagreements over the last 20 odd years, but I have no regrets. He's still my brother and although I hate to admit it, its nice to have a brother like him!

Anyways, one thing did piss me off a little` though. He just told me about an hour ago that I am supposed to be doing the toast for the reception in front of all those people. And then he just laughs. Very evilly. Now I am all puzzled as to what to say and stuff cause I swear to God, I've never done a speech at a reception, let alone a toast. Fucking shit..

None the less, cheers to my brother and his soon-to-be wife. Hope they have a peaceful life ahead of them for years to come.

If anyone of you should be kind enough to write me a toast speech, post it in the comments. I'll send you a cheque for 250 Rupees.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Car/Truck/Bus Horns

Oh for fucks sake already, I wonder why they even bothered inventing the stupid HORN.
I mean, there is no practical reason for its existance. It doesnt help anyone. Doesnt do anyone any good. Then why invent it? Its like finding a way to make "lint". Why would anyone want to make lint eh? Its the same for them horns.

I was on my way back home today when there was a small traffic snarl caused by a bus. Now, I'd imagine that most us of stuck behind the bus were all educated in some school or college and we knew that bellowing our horns would not have any effect in clearing the traffic. Rather, it would only cause more noise and stress to all of us who had to hear the fucking horn go "beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep"

There comes this retard. I am sure he was a northie and a software professional at that. He was driving this Ford Ikon. He parks his fucked up car right behind me and without even waiting for 12 seconds, starts honking his balls off. He just goes on and on. I kept quiet for some 20 odd seconds after he started. Then I got pissed off and turned around and told him to "SHUT THE FUCK UP" in my regular 6'3"-large boned-loud voice way. He just looked at me. Didnt say a word after that and took his hands off the bloody horn. A few seconds later, the traffic cleared and we got moving. I am very sure him having to honk his balls off had nothing to do with getting the traffic cleared. It was obvious it was going to happen without him hitting that horn.

Trust me, that fucked up horn on your vehicle serves no purpose. It just manages to piss completely sane people like me off.
Fucking retards who use their horn for every thing including a stray plastic cover flying in the wind piss me off. Egaad!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Those Damm Ad Jingles

I mean, fuck those guys who make those ad jingles man.
You know what I am saying?

Your about to sleep right. You turn on the fan at full speed, pull the sheets out, turn off the lights, get into bed, pull the sheets back on top of you covering half your body with atleast one leg outside the sheet to make sure that you feel that occasional mosquito bite and more importanly, the cool air blowing down from the fan, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, this fucking ad jingle that you heard on TV pops into your head.

You try hard to forget it quickly and just hit the sack. It doesnt work. You try even harder, but now you cant stop singing the song in your head. You turn sides. It just keeps coming back. You open your eyes, reach for that bottle of water lying near your bed, have a small drink of it, get back to lying on your pillow. This time its even worse. You try to count sheep, but then the sheep start singing the same song too. You can swear you can see the sheep lip synch the same bloody jingle. You just cant get it out of your head now. Your singing and singing and singing and singing....

Then, without your knowledge even, a good 2 hours have gone by. Dont ask me how, but you just fall asleep soon after.

I mean, fuck those guys who make those bloody jingles. It happens with catchy songs as well? I wonder though, why in this world dont I think of songs like "Coming Back to Life" or "Hey You" or "Black Muddy River" or "Scarlet Begonais" or something like that.. I mean I like those songs and hate those fucking jingles. I am sure the ad guy must be feeling mighty happy right now. Fucking bastard!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Deceit and Deadly Lies

de·ceit (dĭ-sēt') pronunciation
  1. The act or practice of deceiving; deception.
  2. A stratagem; a trick.
  3. The quality of being deceitful; falseness.
lie2 () pronunciation
  1. A false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood.
  2. Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.

meanings derived from

I just hate it when a good friend lies to you about something. I dunno how to explain it, but I am sure each and every one of us have had friends who've lied to us. Its like stupid, cause first of all, you're friends with them and considering that fact, they should be pretty honest about everything with you. If they arent, then they're not really friends cause I am guessing the first rule among friends is truthfulness and the one thing that friends respect among themselves in trustworthiness.

Anyways, it just sucks when a friend or anyone for that matter of fact lies to you. Then tries to decieve you and then try to cover it all up with some more lies. It kinda stinks cause all along you know what that person is really trying to do and all along you know the TRUTH.

It just pisses me off..

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Umm... Scriptures!

Now, before I post this entry, I would like to make an annoucement. I am not trying to be blasphemous or anything. I respect every single religion out there and dont really care which religion one follows cause it doesnt interest me nor bother me.

Having said that, I was chatting with my friend on MSN sometime back cause the thought was kinda pissing me off all evening. I was just thinking about what we Christians believe in and how most of the things written in the bible falls into place. None the less, I am pretty sure I've been told many a times about how incest is bad and not approved by the church. I am against it as well. Come to think of it, I would hate to know anyone who has the hots for his own mom/dad/brother or sister. That would just suck and make them a total fag.

Anyways, its amazing how we're here if not for incest if you go by what was taught to us in catecism classes. The following text is the text from the conversation I had with a friend. Here goes nothing.. If any of you are easily offended by bad words or controversial subjects, do not read on. I hope it explains what I am so pissed about..

Doctor Pissed says:
bro, if Adam and Eve were the first man and woman
Doctor Pissed says:
and they had two children who were both guys
holy mouli says:
Doctor Pissed says:
that means the kids fucked their mom right?
holy mouli says:
fukk u man, why cant they have kids where they are both guys
Doctor Pissed says:
Doctor Pissed says:
who else did they fuck?
Doctor Pissed says:
the donkey?
Doctor Pissed says:
the snake who was apparently satan?
holy mouli says:
yeah i know tht
Doctor Pissed says:
so they must have fucked their mom or their sisters if they did have one..
Doctor Pissed says:
fucking incest right in the begining of our time and apparently we're not supposed to do it
holy mouli says:
listen they did it and they had kids, ok so they got a baby boy first
Doctor Pissed says:
how crappy
holy mouli says:
and then they got another baby boy again
Doctor Pissed says:
Dude .. dont be stupid on me
Doctor Pissed says:
Listen to me ..
Doctor Pissed says:
I'll make it simple to you
holy mouli says:
Doctor Pissed says:
Adam is A ok?
Doctor Pissed says:
and Eve is B
Doctor Pissed says:
So adam+eve = c
Doctor Pissed says:
and once more adam+eve = d
Doctor Pissed says:
and c and d are both guys
Doctor Pissed says:
considering that a and b didnt plus again, they just have two kids who are both guys.
Doctor Pissed says:
so c+d wont give you shit
Doctor Pissed says:
so c must have +'ed with b
Doctor Pissed says:
or d must have +'ed with b to continue the fucking order right?
holy mouli says:
ok listen now
Doctor Pissed says:
and considering that a+b had another f who was a girl
holy mouli says:
C and D are fukkin small
Doctor Pissed says:
but when the grow up or whatever man
Doctor Pissed says:
holy mouli says:
they cannot +ed with B
Doctor Pissed says:
how are there going to be any other women other than eve ba?
Doctor Pissed says:
you stupid lil` american brat
Doctor Pissed says:
your not making any sense
Doctor Pissed says:
who cares if they are small.... they are going to grow up..
holy mouli says:
say tht then no
holy mouli says:
holy mouli says:
yeah they would have
holy mouli says:
and its obvious
Doctor Pissed says:
grow bigger dicks with brains that think only of sex all the time
Doctor Pissed says:
they'll hump the tree for a while
Doctor Pissed says:
and the occasional snake
holy mouli says:
and listen GOD granted them kids too
Doctor Pissed says:
but they are going to jump on their mom some time or the other
Doctor Pissed says:
what ballocks..
Doctor Pissed says:
INCEST i tell you
Doctor Pissed says:
and the bible tells me not to even think of it
holy mouli says:
dont u post anythin on it
Doctor Pissed says:
I am going to post this entire conversation..

So there you have it. Contradiction eh? Pisses me off..

Monday, May 09, 2005

Flat Tires

Do any of you guys ride a bike? Doesn't matter actually, but I am just being kind by asking the people who are reading this blog.

I am sure each and everyone of us uses one form of transportation or the other. Using a bike can be very convenient. I mean, you can ride through traffic like it was no bother. You wouldn't have to be stuck in the traffic jams like the cars are. You can live on a shoe string budget if you have a 4-stroke bike even since you'll be spending just about 30-40 bucks on gas a day. Moreover, what could be more simpler than taking your bike out of the garage and heading out to wherever you are supposed to be heading out to and knowing for a fact that you'll make it there at whatever time you set out to make it there at.

Until and unless you have a FLAT.
Or as they call it back here in Bangalore, India, a puncture. Now, a small inconvenience like a bloody nail in your tire wont exactly make anyone happy. But unlike them four wheelers, you dont really carry a spare at the back now, do you. So what do you do? Push the bike to find the nearest 'puncture shop'. In the process, instead of having just one hole in your tube, you'll end up breaking the neck of the tube and rendering it useless and irreparable. So, what it actually means is that, you'll end up pushing your bike for nearly 10-20 minute and at the end of it, you'll end up spending nearly 120 bucks on a new tube.
And to add insult to injury, you end up being late to wherever it was you were heading out to.

Fucking punctures piss me off.

And just as an added note, as my friend was pushing his bike today and trying to find a puncture shop, I went to one guy who was dressed well and was from some company or the other, I am guessing call center (judging from the formals he wore and the id card he flashed which was hung around his neck - btw, that pisses me off as well, that ID card thing, but I'll blog about it some other day) and gestured to him. He spoke back to me in the most annoying fake accents ever and said "Yeaasss" and I was like "Err, where is the vulcanizing shop" (just to put him in his place and pretend like I was angraizee too) and he said "Eh? What" in that typical south Indian accent.. Then I just laughed and said "Puncture shop saar, puncture shop" ...
The fact of the matter being, his stupid pretence also pissed me off.. fucking dumbfuck! He must be blogging about me as well.. But who cares :)

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Cheers to the Smarter People

Today I was playing trivia online since I had nothing else to do. After watching the race, I figured, I'd either watch a movie or play trivia on mIRC and be cool. I choose to play trivia. While I was on the channel, there were a number of us playing there.

Now, I usually dont argue much, but there was this one guy who decided to argue about a question that apparently had a wrong answer, atleast according to him. I mean who really gives a fuck right? First of all, its trivia online. The points are not actually going to be converted into dollars and given to you at the end of the session, although that would be nice.

Someone else scores a point for answering "monocrystalline silicon" and this bugger takes off saying that he's some degree holder from some engineering college somewhere in the world and that he deals with silicon almost everyday and that there was no such thing as a monocrystalline silicon, or so he claimed. Now the guy who got the answer right on the other hand, didn't bother arguing with him. But I was pretty sure I'd heard of Solar Cells being made of monocrystalline silicon, so I jumped and went and quickly googled for an answer on monocrystalline silicon+solar cells. I found a nice elaboration on one site that said everything that needed to be said about the very fact. When I sent him the document, he didn't bother saying much. Infact he didn't even bring the topic up...

What pisses me off the most is the fact that some people pretend to know everything, when infact they know very little. And when you prove them wrong, all the arguments that they raised just fail surface. I wonder why..
Moronic imbecile!

Saturday, May 07, 2005


Oh, images speak louder than words now, don't they?

Anyways, I hate it when people disagree with you. Especially when its something you firmly believe in. Now as a self respecting individual, I like to believe that all of us are free to do whatever we please to do. Should someone disagree with me or come in my way, I am only going to want to take him down with my new air gun (although I wouldn't succeed in killing the person, I am sure I'll hurt him/her good)

I was recently reading a blog on the Internet titled "Why I hate you" and knowing me and what I blog about, I thought it be very interesting for me to go through that person's blog. The guy who blogs over there is a person who identifies himself as Ivan. I am neither friends with him or know him personally. But I agree with some of his views. I am pretty sure he doesn't give a rats arse about what I think of his blog or his views and I am sure he couldn't care less for the people who left their nasty comments on his blog either.

Now lets examine the facts nice and easy.
1. is a blogging site that offers free space to anyone who wants to blog as long as that person has a MSN ID.
2. Once you've got a blog setup, you might as well frigging write about whatever you want to. No one argues with you.
3. If your blog is interesting, it should get quite a number of people viewing it on a daily basis just to humour themselves with it.
4. If your blog is uninteresting, who really cares, its your blog anyways, so it shouldn't matter to you if you get any page hits.
5. I am sure the interesting blogs' bloggers' don't really care much about page hits either.
6. Once you own the space and start bloggin, you wouldn't really care a shit about what other people have to say about your thoughts or opinions. Cause quite frankly, your just a lazy ass not to maintain a diary like any other 8 year old schoolgirl. But you choose to do it in public with a medium that they call the 'blog'.

Having said all that, I just hate it when people disagree with you. Even on the internet. Like we all don't have enough of the negative bullshit in real life already. I pity that guy Ivan. He sure brings up a few interesting facts about the world that we live in as of today. If anything, he should be appreciated and thanked for his services to the mediocre and the community at large.

So, to all you people who like to disagree with everything and anything, go shove a cucumber up your shit hole.