Sunday, September 18, 2005

I got dengued today!

If you guys are wondering what the topic title means, fret not. I basically intend to tell all my ardent fans that I got fucked today!

How you may ask? Well, let me take the fucking time to explain.

I went to work today. I know, what a crappy life I must be leading that I need to go to work on a Sunday. But work is work dude. When you enjoy it as much as I do, you wont complain. Anyways, i finished doing what I was supposed to in about 30 minutes and I get a message from a friend. I thought to myself, let me just message him while I am riding the bike. I mean come on, what the fuck could happen right? I've done this a million times, ride the bike and message someone, even talk on the phone by sticking the phone inside my helmet. So, what the fuck, I could pull this off too. So I started my bike, took off from work and started typing the message with my left hand while accelerating with the right. I didnt crash up or anything. I was just super excited about the message that I didnt notice a stupid fucking cop just waiting at the end of the road to catch me.

And mind you, he did.

He pulled me over to the side and cracked the usual kannada movie joke - "eyyy, jogi, yell hogtha iddiya kano?" (btw, just so that you people from north india and around the world know, Jogi is a new kannada movie where the protagonist has long locks, just like mine and I've got this fucking Jogi thing from countless number of people before the cop, street children, auto drivers, the lot. First it was Uppi, now its fucking Jogi. I am going to cut my fucking hair. You just wait..)

Anyways, so there I was, caught red handed. I was guilty of riding the bike and using the phone at the same time, which mind you, is an offence. So he asked me to pull my bike over and I did. Then he started cracking jokes with me. He then casually checked my papers and to my fucking suprise, both my emission test certificate and my insurance had fucking expired. I mean what crap. Just 2 minutes before handing out the papers to him, I was happily riding my bike with super confidence and being super thrilled and all and then out of the blue this guy catches me and fucks up my sunday. I was even under the impression that my bike papers were up to date, but they obviously werent. The emission test expired in March 2005 and the Oriental Insurance paper was done with way back in Feb itself.

So now I had 3 offenses against my record. I was guilty of riding my bike and using the mobile phone at the same time and riding the bike with expired papers.

So basically, I was fucked.

He then goes on to tell me that I am supposed to pay him 1200 bucks. I was like "what the fuck". I literally said that btw. He said, using abusive language to a police officer is another offense so you better chill out (all in kannada btw). Anyways, let me give you the break down.

300 bucks for riding the bike and using the cell phone at the same time
500 bucks for expired insurance papers
200 bucks for expired emission test
100 bucks for riding a bike with mirrors
100 bucks for riding a bike with no front ferring

Now, I totally get the first three but what the fuck. If i choose not to have mirrors on my bike, its my fucking choise. If I die, I die. Who the fuck is he to command that I have mirrors. Moreover, if I dont want to have a front ferring on my fucking bike, its my fucking choice again. I like my bike without a ferring and I am going to keep it that way.

Obviously, I couldnt tell him all that. So I just smiled and gave him the "Come on saaar, ganesha habba" bit. He didnt seem to want to budge. He was stern. Anyways, after much pleading and requesting, he gave in and I got out of there after 30 minutes by paying him some 50 bucks and promising to come back with another 100.

In his fucking dreams am I going to go back with that 100. Actually I did go back. But his boss had turned up and he just sent me away.

Anyways, the whole experience today was such a piss off. Spoilt my whole day plan. I so wanted to go to church and sing hymns today. Didnt happen :(

Bastard cops..


Alice said...

"*LOL* That's hilarious! Sucks for you though..."

- Yahoo Audibles

Penny Lane said...

I so wanted to go to church and sing hymns today

Because that is always part of your Sunday agenda?? And what on earth is a front ferring?

Dr. Pissed said...

heh alice .. It sure sucks for me alright

Ms. Lane, I never go to church man. Just started going recently and everytime I make it a point to be there, something or the other fucks up my plans. Moreover, the only reason i goto church is to sing hymns. I miss singing them..

Dr. Pissed said...

And oh a front ferring is like the casing for the headlight. Some of the crappier 100cc and 180cc bikes come with it. But who fucking cares, I am getting my bullet today!!!

Super Wooohoo...

compounder pissed said...

damn, u of all the ppl dont deserve a bullet. and for crying out loud, i get pissed off with ppl on the cell while riding. they dont care abt the traffic behind them and stay at the rightmost lane doin 30s or 40s without a single care in the world. all i wish to is to run over those fukkers and u r included in the list. btw, my emission has never been renewed and i dont have ny side mirrors. but an offense is an offense. live with it and be happy u got of with 50 bucks. and using festivals is a cheap and low method. come up with somethin original, jogi!

Wally said...

So thats what you wanted the 100 bucks for ... LOL!!

Too bad you got caught but you must have been stupid to actually go back to give him that 100 bucks.

Me got caught a while back and used the same method, paid the cop Rs. 50 and told him i will be back, gave him my name (Rahul) and my number (988whatever) and told him I will come back .... NOT !!!

Anonymous said...

"300 bucks for riding the bike and using the cell phone at the same time
500 bucks for expired insurance papers
200 bucks for expired emission test
100 bucks for riding a bike with mirrors
100 bucks for riding a bike with no front ferring"

you said 100 bucks for riding a bike with mirrors.. bro.. the cop conned u 100bucks.. dumbass!


dee iyer said...

Bwahahahahahhahahahahahaaaaa\By virtue of being a woman , ive never been caught by a cop ! yay !
touch wood and all that.

Archrival said...

Something similar happened to me.....hehehe i was smoking beside this police checkpost on the beach and there was a board which said no smoking in public places and to AVOID it ;-) i started smoking behind it.The guy kept me there till 4 A.M confiscated my ID the next day i managed to escape.

Finch, Scout said...

i stopped counting the number of fucks. it seemed pointless.


paapa. you'll have a better day mans. soon.

maybe you can become TP one fine (fucking) day and fuck the TPs right back! heeehehehe

Jogi. How lame.
I want to watch that movie!! and dude, Anniyans way cooler :-P

Dr. Pissed said...

Dalda: you bastard, your never going to win that fancy dress competition. So why bother?

Wally: you bitch, I told you i got caught. You were just too busy fucking playing..

Piggy: I just paid the bugger 50 rupis I say.. He got conned. Sorry for isspelling mistake inside of post

Ms. Iyer: What crap no? I can think of something very mean to say against womenkind, but I'll resist the temptation.

Diabolique: Did i forget to tell you , I have friends in the cops station that check my blog - almost everyday! Infact just before I took off after giving him 50 bucks, I left my blog id with him too.. So yoru screwed man!!

Scout: Anniyan anthe - chee!!
Pandia is the megha.. Anyways, I cant understand tamil, so its ok. And I hate Jogi too, but I am dying to watch that movie. Everyone's raving about it..
Hodi beda hodi beda hodi beda hodi beda hodi beda maga bida beda awanaa

Wally said...

@ scout : By virtue of being a woman , ive never been caught by a cop ! yay !

How true ... and you know why? because the ladis will kick up such a racket that the cops cant honestly harass someone who is harassing them. And secondly, because people like dr.pissed actually go back to pay the fine. LOL.

dee iyer said...

by the way wally ...
i said that thing about being a woman ! scout didnt ..
dont steal my thunder dude !

tha dalda said...

fancy dress competition? drunk or wat, foole?

@finch: anniyan is not nice nice movie. cheap 50p minti is better than that

silverine said...

Serves you right I say!!! And dont expect me to belive the singing hymns in church bit.

Dr. Pissed said...

Ms. Iyer, dont you get it. Wally and Dalda are putting line for the Finch! Take it izzy macha.. Not to be worry..

Silverine, dude i swear, no chicks scene and all. Only hymns!

tha dalda said...

i dont see no mention abt chicks! hiding something, arnt we?

Alice said...

Yabba!!! I have officially lost track of where each comment is headed... Darn my short attention span.. All being this TV Generation.. Bah...

(I feel your comment space must be turned into another blog)

Dr. Pissed said...

showers of blessing .. showers of blessings we need..
something something something something!

I love you all. You guys give off my blaag such color! Thanks! *sniff*

Wally said...

Sorry Ms. Iyer ... My bad.

ladyparadox said...

Oh, what a sad! i am feeling full bad. its just a classic case of sour garpes for you men that you can't cry/harass/screech your way out of traffic probs. muahahaha! full on evil i am no? I just realised that i am also ms.iyer!how fundoo is that?

jax said...

Dengued!! Hahaha!!! You mean you got Kayed!! :D