Friday, March 31, 2006

Driving ET-E-KET




Post aptly titled so our northy counterparts can pronounce and understand the word, separated with hyphens to make it easier on their peanut sized brains.

What with today, I was traveling down Bannergatta Road, making my way back home on the newly laid tarmac, when I had to slow down rather drastically thanks to one northy dimwit, or a southy dimwit for that matter of fact in a northy's car [read: MH registration]. Now, what the fuck a south indian would be doing in a second hand northy car, i don't know and highly doubt that happening, so its safe to assume the driver of the car was northy as well.

So, as i slowed down behind the maathar chooth (choice of words just to make them feel more at home) the bastard politely takes the fucking cigarette he's smoking and taps the ash outside the fucking window. Now don't get me wrong, I don't complain about most of the things (hehe), but I really don't fancy a mouthful of northy cigarette ash. Now, this ant a northy bashing post or anything like that. I don't fancy a mouthful of southy cigarette ash either, but just that he was northy pissed me off that much more i am guessing.

I sped up to the dimwit, right next to the drivers window and since I was in no mood to fight, I asked him politely (again), "Umm, care to tap your ash inside the ash tray provided with your car?" to which Mr. Forgive-me-but-i-have-a-sock-stuck-up-my-ass replied, "Eh, your fathers road ahh?" to which i grumbled and replied, "YES" and he sped away.

How much of dhumm he has no? That too at 12:10 in the morning. Then i wondered to myself as i was getting back home - how stupid are these mother fuckers? I mean, do they really have any driving etiquette at all? Why would someone want to tap their ash outside their fucking cars? Why would someone want to spray their windshields with water while traveling at 40 kmph? Invariably, they all end up being northy and somehow or the other, i manage to find myself behind one of them.

I am telling you, i need to get myself a fucking gun. The time has come. I just cant let this go any further. Its time we took our city back.

10 comments:

vsqz said...

time to revolt, time to rebel, time to make some changes.

kill the bastards

Anonymous said...

http://live.indiatimes.com/ppt/190804/index.html

dalda. wanted to save this link. dint know where to put it.

wally said...

I am suprised you didnt chase the f*%ker ... Is the Doctor mellowing with age?

silverine said...

I had a similar experience and I have a pet remedy for this. *drums rolling* SPEAK IN KANNADA!!! Never fails. The other day a northie guy kept honking his horns behind me while I had no place to give him room to overtake. He came up to me and spoke in English "Are you crazy?" I spoke back in Kannada. He shut up as these guys dont like to take panga with locals or kannuds or karnatikkas as they call us.

Post aptly titled so our northy counterparts can pronounce and understand the word, separated with hyphens to make it easier on their peanut sized brains. ROFLMAO

Finch, Scout said...

lol@dhumm yesht idey aa boli ke rangangey..

i totally agree.

the only significant contribution of northy invasion that i've felt, is that of nice new swear words.

but nothing is nice and fullfilling as hollering BoliKe at them. Really.

joe said...

HEy like i said ....it should be mandatory for northies to have visa...and for visa they need to be top five in tofel gre and cat scores put together.....and they should be interviewed by a panel consisting of complete northie haters only ....

yumcupcake said...

righto...share your passion for northie exploitation...

revati said...

man you write well. i love the eintensity of your wrath, about the most inane things.

northies are pissing off. come here for better opps in life, dirty our cities, then complain nothing works, nothings right. then stay in your own goddamn hallies.

love it, you hit the nail dead on the head!

Siddharth said...

I totally agree with you, Doc! Been here since 2nd Std. and consider myself a Bangalorean who's also a good citizen of this world! Too many northies clutturing up our city and making it feel like Bihar or something! Just the other day in Koramangala, I had to cuss out a couple of northies who didn't even have the courtesy to stand in line for their chaat and tried to push past me! I've read all your posts and am looking forward to more rants (which I agree with mostly)...PS:former Christite here (89-91 PUC)

abhinav said...

hehe wat a moron u r man.. i pray as hell i havent spelled 'moron' wrong.