Friday, June 09, 2006
Ok, so this post is for a friend who's been waiting to read this for a while and is at home doing nothing and is getting some much needed rest (I guess)
This is a pretty outdated post, but I've been meaning to write about this crappy airline for a while now. Just haven't found the time. Now, I used to fly pretty often to Mumbai and back on work, almost 2-3 times a week. I would be out of town on work most of the time cause the industry that I work for demands that we travel a lot.
Anyways, I've never ever flown Indian Airlines before the dreaded day that I didn't manage to catch any other plane back home and had to fly with the airline only cause I had important material to get back to the office the same night. I wouldn't have really had a problem with Air Deccan even, but IA is an airline that I'll stay away from after what happened on that fateful night.
So there I was, done with my work and it was some 7:30 in the night and I had an open ticket booked on IA cause the rest of the planes were full and had already left. The fine folk at my office apologized profusely for giving me a ticket on IA instead of any other airline, but then again, its not their fault. All the other airlines were booked to the brim and had already taken off as I mentioned earlier.
I went to their counter and my flight was at some 8:30 types. I waited in the queue for a while and then got my boarding pass. I requested for a seat on the Emergency Exit, which btw all the other airlines I have flown wouldn't have any problem giving to me cause I am bloody tall, this airline refused. I am almost sure it wasn't full and I was like one of the first 20 people to collect my boarding pass, yet that bitch sitting across the counter, who I am sure was eating paan on the sly, didn't like my face or my hair or something and just refused to budge. So I settled for a seat right behind the emergency exit which is seat no. 13 on most airlines again since I couldn't fight that fat ugly cow with blood red lips.
After a while, having just picked up something to eat from that ONE STALL that they have at the airport for some ridiculous amount of money, I look up and notice that there is a 30 minute delay mentioned next to the IA Flight to bangalore. I looked outside the huge glass panes that they have there are terminal 1A and I could see that our plane had landed and I kept wondering what really caused the delay. None the less, I called the office to inform them that they should send the cab a good hour late cause of the delay.
It was approximately 9, when that stupid guard at the exit door yelled out that the plane was ready to board or whatever crap. So all of us got up and went and parked our asses on the planes in our respective seats. Everyone began to sweat. Now that's odd, aint it? Your not supposed to fucking sweat on an airline cause they have the airconditioning working. Now I am no snobby bitch or any of that jazz and will even sleep on the floor if I have to, but don't expect me to sit in a fucking capsule for 1½ hours with everyone from Mr. Fat-Pig-Businessman from Pune to some other dickwart from Ahmedabad eating their meals and breathing/farting/burping/whateverthefucking inside the same capsule as me. I mean, its not like I could slide open the windows or something. The plane was a fucking time bomb waiting to explode cause of all theperspiringg and dirty smells of people taking off their shoes on the plane (which btw is another thing that pisses me off a lot about Mumbai flights back home)
I called the air hostess, another one of those fat ugly cows whodon'tt even deserve to sellpharmaceuticalss at Cash Pharmacy came up to me and asked me what the matter was. As if shedidn'tt fucking already know. Anyways, so i told her, "pardon me for calling you, but if youdon'tt already notice, it is getting rather hot in here. Could you maybe have the airconditioning turned to a lower temperature maybe" to which she said, "I'll let the captain know". Oh wise decision bitch. Instead of having him fly the fucking plane, get him outside the cabin to fix the airconditioning.
Anyways, after a while, while we were stuck in a traffic jam on the taxiway, everyone began to fan themselves with the free DNA newspapers that they scam at the airport. Everyone began to complain and the captain got on the radio and announced to all of us in a bold and very clear voice. He said, "Good evening passengers" - (fuck your good evening and just get on with it you dickwart, its getting hotter by the minute and wedon'tt like it), "we are having some technical problems with the airconditioning" - (fuck yeah, its not working maybe) "Once we areairbornee, it should get cooler. Kindly bear with us" - (holy fucking crap, he's even more psycho than that fat cow. He's going to come out and open all our windows or break them down with his fancy Indian Airlines belt buckle)
Everyone burst out laughing cause it was hilarious. Everyone wondered why in this world we all even decided to fly with them. I mean how in this living world could they justify taking off with a technical problem? What if the air conditioning blew the fucking engines and we burst into flames cause of their technical problem? They (the IA people inside our aircraft)didn'tt seem to mind. They were too busy heating coffee and dinner. I am sure everyone fastened their seat belts nice and tight and said a prayer.
Nowdon'tt get me wrong, I most certainly hate this airline andwouldn'tt suggest any of you fly it. It just sucks beyond compare and the food is a good 4 days old, no matter who you are and how much money you've paid for your ticket. For the life of me, I promised that day that I'll walk to Mumbai if i have to, but never put up with them ever again!
Them fucking cows.. I am sure haracry is one of those fat ugly air hostesses!