Monday, July 24, 2006

Theater ET-E-KET (part II)



So umm, blogger got screwed for a few days, the govt tried to rule us again, they failed.
Anyways, all's back to normal I hope.

So here's an update.

I went to the movies today. Fancy movies. Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest (FYI: I couldnt spell Caribbean until a few minutes ago, but you dont really care) and apparently all of the male populace in Bangalore has become gay.

Judging by the luck I've had at movie theaters in the recent past, believe me when I say this, I got to sit next to the most humongous 40 year old in the entire theater. The bugger was massive and he was sitting right next to me, hogging my arm rest as usual. Wait, he wasnt only hogging the god damm arm rest, he was hogging the arm rest, the leg space, the seat space and whatever else space was left even in the corners. God damm he was huge.

Anyways, getting back to the topic, as the movie started, there was this huge roar like when Ranjikanth comes on screen in Shiva Theater or something no, like that. Everyone started cheering at the sight of Mr. Depp on screen. 98% of the cheering lot - GUYS.

Case in point, ALMOST ALL THE GUYS IN THE THEATER ARE GAY!!

Now hear me say this and hear me say this loud and clear, this never used to fucking happen back in 1998, before those dumbfuck northies came here and populated our theaters. Its them I tell ya, its them.
Infact the guy sitting next to the fat dude on the other side was actually standing up and yelling something at the screen I kid you not when Mr. Depp would do something fancy like manage to gather fruit with a pole which is tied to his back without using his hands - oooo!!

For fucks sake, its a movie theater. I paid just the same amount of money or more, except maybe for the fancy 100 buck Balcony folk to watch the movie in some nice peace and quiet, which by the way is the etiquette I assume is the norm in a theater anywhere in the world.

If you gay mother fuckers want to scream, get the fuck back to Chandigarh.

In other news, I had a lovely time thanks to some good company and you guys can go laugh your heads off with this Bangalore Torpedo Joke.

25 comments:

Tha Dalda said...

yay 1st comment.

wat kalti ya. u went to the movies and u dint even bother informing me. thanks a lot bro, no seriously i mean it. THANKS A LOT!!!!!!!!

btw, hate it when northies infest a place. thought chennai was ghey enuff where ppl dont need a reason to dance like kaaka. infested blore too. chee gone case. nothin in this planet can get gayer than northies. probly paki ppl but they have a close fight.

haathi said...

ay i know exactly what you mean. if you're a girl just looking to buy cheaper tickets, and enjoy a movie, you're always afraid the weirdo man next to you is going to 'hog the arm rest'..if you know what i mean. chah. sucks only. why cant they go to the multiplexes.

Lavanya said...

When are you expected here? Are you allergic to cats? Will Uni start in sept? let me know...:)

Bluefrogtribute said...

Tsk tsk bro... U are in for a shock when u come to sydney... I guess it will be worse cause really ppl are gay here like 94% of the population i think. Now me being an optimist would think man if the guys are all gays then the chick are free no. FUck no they are all lesbians, FUck where does that leave us straight ppl. Not that i am homophbic or lesbiophobic, But i think its more of a trend than anything say i am gay everyone cheers for u awwwwwwww so cute he finally came out then bang some chicks and then say shit i am gay i was drunk(awwwwwwwww he is gay come group hug). But its fun man screaming in theatres i guess its fun if u do it like i never stopped yakking during in her boots or slipper or some cock movie we paid like a grand to watch all of us group outing and shit, FUck anyways u watch a hindi movie and guys will cheer for salman khan non stop for like 15 minutes and 20 when he wears his shirt. I guess everyone wants foriegn shit now.. We have tv now and DVD player so get that shit fucking visa fast and get ure ass here soon.

Lavanya : U stay in sydney huh.

silverine said...

I went thru the same thing some time back...a group of Hindi speaking fellows making loud crude jokes while the Southie men sat like pansies. Then an elderly man got up and called the cop loitering around having free Tea and they were asked to shut up. And the panises clapped. I think we are fools to tolerate them.

Pinkbury said...

tsk tsk...same old issues. These guys just cant take a clue, can they? They are insane & they are everywhere. Invest in a good home theatre and make sure you dont call your northie collegues home.

Lavanya said...

Froggie: Canberra, and if you snigger i'll squash you like a bug!:)
Does anyone know the whereabouts of a particular vermin known as franky aka Christopher Franklin Joseph?

Bluefrogtribute said...

Lavi:Canberra Hyuck hyuck, GOod on u love, i heard that place is like really small. if u want to go look around u can finish the whole tour in 30 minutes by foot..Maybe a little exg but i choose to believe it. If U come around to sydney sometime let me know, U can come when pissed comes. WE can go church hopping together like me n dr pissed did on christmas night, i was the driver and i got 500 bucks for fuel. So cool that was no

Lavanya. said...

Froggie: This frog has just been squashed! Its small i admit but not as you describe,its still teh capital of Oz so you tell that to Howie and people tell me its a nice place to raise kids so i console myself with that! I like Churches..but once a week is enough for me..as i said before i am not a rabid fanatic,i just like to put my religion to use in daily life. As long as someone else is paying for the fuel the ride sounds like an idea.

Rushes' Anomaly said...

Depp=> MenCheering => Gay => Northy
Hmm.. strange theory of evolution, I say. Aint it a wee bit blinded?

ps: I love Depp and his charcoled eyes :-)

jax said...

Northies will clap and sing Kawwali for anything with charcoaled eyes. Its unfair of you to call them gays. Eunuchs would be more appropriate.

Ketaki said...

hahahahah!!!!!! :D so these northies are the fairies eh?? lol... !!!

i rem goin for an exam once and saw this northy guy, he was a wanna-be metrosexual who was definitely just a homosexual... ugh. scary figure all together.
did u knw a large number of homos hang out on orkut?! frightening!!!

Ketaki said...

depp is haawwtt btw ;) cant blame em fairies ;) lol poor depp tho

Alice said...

ha ha! You didn't come to the Airport. Now sit with your manymany gifts and comb your long hair. Hmph!

Noojes said...

Hey went through your blog

You're funny :)

noojes

Abhishek said...

I am an avid reader of your blog. I derive sadistic pleasure out of it.. and enjoy your mishaps...

But my friend, why such bad blood for those of us on this side of India? I agree that there are cultural differences... but should they piss you off so much that allmost your each post has snide remarks about North Indians (Or Northies as you call them...us)

I often travel to Chennai... I like the place.. i learn about their culture... several of my best friends hail from there .. and when they visit Pune, they learn about Pune's culture..It is mutual...

Perhaps your anguish lies in the sad state of Bangalore right now... Bangalore is overstressed ,the problem lies with its infrastructure and administration... which at the last time I checked was not managed by 'northies'

May be its about time, we learned to respect each other...

Anonymous said...

The fucking danger of Johnny Depp being so darned hot, is that the men want him too!!! Not like we women aren't scratching each other's eyes out for him to begin with!!

Susu said...

whatever it is, all i know is that Johnny Depp is in "my league"!!! :P

dee iyer said...

where you at? moved and all!

new blog id: www.iyerup.blogspot.com .. come off

Rushes' Anomaly said...

Come on doc, update us with the Oz stuff!!

Siddhu said...

Hey I can't stand rude, uncultured, uncultivated dumbfuck Northies too.

Christ, why did we have to get all those IT companies here? Now we have to tolerate all 'em northies in OUR land. ;)

southie girl said...

@Abhishek: If you are a Punekar you dont count as Northie. By northie we are talking of the Punju, Delhi, and the Hindi belt crowd.

dee iyer said...

men gay.. yes yess..
not all in bangalore though.. some..
:P

em said...

wadda post.. i thought it somethin to do with movies or the theater or the fat guy.. but it turned out to be abt northies.. i hate u ppl who hate northies... hahahaha... papa.. some of them will think i actually support northies... goobals. its ok tis ok. northies are kakka. they are like dog shit on a asbetos roof on a hot summer afternoon.. dont ask me wat that means, i just wrote it.
btw, aussie indians are mostly northies.. so enjoy.. hahah.. if u find someone from bangalore, deadly.

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