Monday, July 24, 2006

Theater ET-E-KET (part II)



So umm, blogger got screwed for a few days, the govt tried to rule us again, they failed.
Anyways, all's back to normal I hope.

So here's an update.

I went to the movies today. Fancy movies. Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest (FYI: I couldnt spell Caribbean until a few minutes ago, but you dont really care) and apparently all of the male populace in Bangalore has become gay.

Judging by the luck I've had at movie theaters in the recent past, believe me when I say this, I got to sit next to the most humongous 40 year old in the entire theater. The bugger was massive and he was sitting right next to me, hogging my arm rest as usual. Wait, he wasnt only hogging the god damm arm rest, he was hogging the arm rest, the leg space, the seat space and whatever else space was left even in the corners. God damm he was huge.

Anyways, getting back to the topic, as the movie started, there was this huge roar like when Ranjikanth comes on screen in Shiva Theater or something no, like that. Everyone started cheering at the sight of Mr. Depp on screen. 98% of the cheering lot - GUYS.

Case in point, ALMOST ALL THE GUYS IN THE THEATER ARE GAY!!

Now hear me say this and hear me say this loud and clear, this never used to fucking happen back in 1998, before those dumbfuck northies came here and populated our theaters. Its them I tell ya, its them.
Infact the guy sitting next to the fat dude on the other side was actually standing up and yelling something at the screen I kid you not when Mr. Depp would do something fancy like manage to gather fruit with a pole which is tied to his back without using his hands - oooo!!

For fucks sake, its a movie theater. I paid just the same amount of money or more, except maybe for the fancy 100 buck Balcony folk to watch the movie in some nice peace and quiet, which by the way is the etiquette I assume is the norm in a theater anywhere in the world.

If you gay mother fuckers want to scream, get the fuck back to Chandigarh.

In other news, I had a lovely time thanks to some good company and you guys can go laugh your heads off with this Bangalore Torpedo Joke.

18 comments:

Revati Upadhya said...

ay i know exactly what you mean. if you're a girl just looking to buy cheaper tickets, and enjoy a movie, you're always afraid the weirdo man next to you is going to 'hog the arm rest'..if you know what i mean. chah. sucks only. why cant they go to the multiplexes.

Anonymous said...

When are you expected here? Are you allergic to cats? Will Uni start in sept? let me know...:)

silverine said...

I went thru the same thing some time back...a group of Hindi speaking fellows making loud crude jokes while the Southie men sat like pansies. Then an elderly man got up and called the cop loitering around having free Tea and they were asked to shut up. And the panises clapped. I think we are fools to tolerate them.

Anonymous said...

Froggie: Canberra, and if you snigger i'll squash you like a bug!:)
Does anyone know the whereabouts of a particular vermin known as franky aka Christopher Franklin Joseph?

Anonymous said...

Froggie: This frog has just been squashed! Its small i admit but not as you describe,its still teh capital of Oz so you tell that to Howie and people tell me its a nice place to raise kids so i console myself with that! I like Churches..but once a week is enough for me..as i said before i am not a rabid fanatic,i just like to put my religion to use in daily life. As long as someone else is paying for the fuel the ride sounds like an idea.

Rushes' Anomaly said...

Depp=> MenCheering => Gay => Northy
Hmm.. strange theory of evolution, I say. Aint it a wee bit blinded?

ps: I love Depp and his charcoled eyes :-)

Anonymous said...

Northies will clap and sing Kawwali for anything with charcoaled eyes. Its unfair of you to call them gays. Eunuchs would be more appropriate.

Squid said...

depp is haawwtt btw ;) cant blame em fairies ;) lol poor depp tho

Queenmatrai said...

Hey went through your blog

You're funny :)

noojes

AK said...

I am an avid reader of your blog. I derive sadistic pleasure out of it.. and enjoy your mishaps...

But my friend, why such bad blood for those of us on this side of India? I agree that there are cultural differences... but should they piss you off so much that allmost your each post has snide remarks about North Indians (Or Northies as you call them...us)

I often travel to Chennai... I like the place.. i learn about their culture... several of my best friends hail from there .. and when they visit Pune, they learn about Pune's culture..It is mutual...

Perhaps your anguish lies in the sad state of Bangalore right now... Bangalore is overstressed ,the problem lies with its infrastructure and administration... which at the last time I checked was not managed by 'northies'

May be its about time, we learned to respect each other...

Anonymous said...

whatever it is, all i know is that Johnny Depp is in "my league"!!! :P

dee iyer said...

where you at? moved and all!

new blog id: www.iyerup.blogspot.com .. come off

Rushes' Anomaly said...

Come on doc, update us with the Oz stuff!!

Siddhu said...

Hey I can't stand rude, uncultured, uncultivated dumbfuck Northies too.

Christ, why did we have to get all those IT companies here? Now we have to tolerate all 'em northies in OUR land. ;)

Anonymous said...

@Abhishek: If you are a Punekar you dont count as Northie. By northie we are talking of the Punju, Delhi, and the Hindi belt crowd.

dee iyer said...

men gay.. yes yess..
not all in bangalore though.. some..
:P

Anonymous said...

wadda post.. i thought it somethin to do with movies or the theater or the fat guy.. but it turned out to be abt northies.. i hate u ppl who hate northies... hahahaha... papa.. some of them will think i actually support northies... goobals. its ok tis ok. northies are kakka. they are like dog shit on a asbetos roof on a hot summer afternoon.. dont ask me wat that means, i just wrote it.
btw, aussie indians are mostly northies.. so enjoy.. hahah.. if u find someone from bangalore, deadly.

Home Theater Systems said...

Watching movie in cinemas is good but getting the feel at home by installing home theater systems is amazing experience