Disheartened

dis·heart·en (dĭs-här'tn)
tr.v., -ened, -en·ing, -ens.

To shake or destroy the courage or resolution of; dispirit. See synonyms at discourage.

meaning derived from www.answers.com

Being disheartened can be such a piss off. Today, like any other day in the recent past, I was at the basketball court, trying to play some good basketball.

Now, I can proudly say that I was good enough and worth a mention or two in the daily's in my hay days, but that was long before I decided to take a break from the sport; a good 4 year long break. I dont know if each and every one of you play a sport and will comprehend what I am going to say, but once you quit a sport and try getting back to it, it can get pretty pissing off at times when you know you could have so easily made that shot, or probably that goal back in the days, but you cant now.

Fuck, you have no idea how bad it feels. I missed about 75% of the shots I attempted in game today and that goes to show what lack of practice can do to a man. About 4 years ago, I used to make 90% of all shots that I attempted and now I cant even make a third of that percentage. I was a shame to my team today and although we were just playing friendly's, everyone knew I was messing up and it totally made me disheartened.

So today, rather than being pissed off with something else, I am pissed off with myself for not being able to live up to what I was a few years ago. Fuck, this sucks..